PRINCIPLES FOR IMPARTING CONVICTIONS (KPR) INTO YOUR SMALL GROUP

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CONVICTION CREATION

So you have created a community of people around your life who are learning to lean on each other as they pursue Christ, but how do you impart the convictions of Christ’s Kingdom into their life? Below is a list of culture (conviction) creation principles that you can think through to assess how best to communicate the convictions of Christ and His Kingdom into the lives of your small group members.

Conviction Creation principles are really an extension of Feeding “Personal Walk with God” Behaviors; however, where the Behaviors page is focused on where to impart the Kingdom Convictions, and the “Core Convictions” page is focused on what to impart, this page is focused on how to impart those Convictions into the lives of your small group members.

AREA 1: WHAT WE CONSIDER

ASSESS THE MATURITY OF YOUR MEMBERS

Assess at what phase of conviction maturity your SG members are in and then disciple accordingly (EMPHASIZE PLAY, PRACTICE, ALTRUISTIC PURPOSE or LIFELONG DEVELOPMENT)

Scriptures Or Scriptural Principles Related To This Principle

  • Jesus' different approach between Zacchaeus who gave away a portion of his wealth willingly and the rich young ruler who Jesus demanded him to sell ALL he had.
    • Luke 19: 8 But Zacchaeus stood up and said to the Lord, “Look, Lord! Here and now I give half of my possessions to the poor, and if I have cheated anybody out of anything, I will pay back four times the amount.” 9 Jesus said to him, “Today salvation has come to this house, because this man, too, is a son of Abraham. 10 For the Son of Man came to seek and to save the lost.”
    • Mark 10: 21 Jesus looked at him and loved him. “One thing you lack,” he said. “Go, sell everything you have and give to the poor, and you will have treasure in heaven. Then come, follow me.” 22 At this the man’s face fell. He went away sad, because he had great wealth.

Maxims And Quotes Related To This Principle

  • The chief end of man is to glorify God and enjoy Him forever
  • If you live in your competency you'll never grow your capacity
  • Over my dead body am I going to let you live a stupid life
  • Stop praying God use me and start praying God make me useable
  • Knowledge = responsibility, responsibility accepted = more light, responsibility rejected = guilt
  • Place a crown above their head and watch them grow into it

A Narrative Of The Development Of A Disciple Maker During College Through Play, Practice, Altruistic Purpose & Lifelong Development.

Think through a student who is learning to love Jesus for what He has done for them on the cross, so they decide to go on a missions trip, and help their SG leader with periodic outreach activities. Through these experiences they begin to experience personal fulfillment as they have some small wins, and are celebrated in the community for their growing boldness in their faith (Play with responsibility through self motivation). Their motivation to take responsibility for His Kingdom begins to grow through these experiences so they decide to go through Chi Alpha's LTC class. After all, responsibility is miracle grow for our own faith, and they want to have a legacy on the campus after they leave (Practicing from self motivation). After they complete LTC they join leadership and become a small group leader. Suddenly they find that they are drawn into God's love for the specific people they are Fighting For as they sacrifice for their SG members highest good. It's no longer just about their enjoyment or fulfillment, as they go through seasons of not feeling one or both of those things, but now they're motivated because of love for the people in their SG and God's worthiness of them (Altruistic Purpose developing). This then develops in them a longing for God's glory, their peoples highest good, as well as their ongoing desire to have a meaningful impact as they see responsibility for His Kingdom being the greatest thing they could give their life to. This leads them to long for more and more effectiveness in their discipleship through the conviction for responsibility that they now have which leads to lifelong development in their lives (Lifelong Development through self and others motivation).

HOW Does The Maturity Of My SG Members Convictions Affect My Discipleship Approach?

There are really two ways to answer that question. The obvious answer is that the Core Convictions you emphasize may be different depending on your SG members maturity and as a result what conviction creation principles you use. The principles that you emphasize for someone who you are trying to grow in responsibility may be different from the conviction creation principles you emphasize with someone who is trying to figure out God. The principles are not conviction specific, and are meant to be able to be used for any conviction but there are intuitively certain principles you will use more for certain convictions and certain phases of your SG members maturity. For the SG member who you are trying to grow in the conviction of responsibility you might, for example, use the "Making Heros'' principle on this page as you talk about the lasting impact those SG leaders had in people's lives through taking on responsibility, where with the seeker, who you are trying to develop a sense of belief with, you might emphasize the "Tell Stories" principle on this page as you highlight God's existence through stories that emphasize the supernatural or other peoples journeys of faith.

What may not be as obvious is that not only will the principles that you choose to use will likely change depending on the conviction and/or attribute you're trying to impart, but so will how you use those principles. How you use the principles on this page will depend primarily on the maturity of the SG members current conviction.

Think of a kid who is learning basketball for the first time vs a varsity player on a basketball team. They may both have the same professional NBA player (Hero) they look up to but what they take away from their hero is different. The first time basketball player needs low challenge and high invitation. They need to have fun and learn to love playing basketball before they are pushed to sacrifice for something their only learning to love. This kid may watch their hero play and then go out to the basketball court to try to do the trick shots or other moves they saw the pro do. They are not discouraged if they aren't as good as their hero, but are just enjoying the game through the admiration of the pro's abilities and dreaming about what it would be like to play like their hero. The varsity player needs higher challenge as they strive to reach their potential. For this kid they are taking cues on technique, lifestyle habits, exercises, etc. from the hero as the pro player pushes the kid to not only love the game but also to push them to be better at the game. Both may watch their hero at the next NBA game but where the new player is growing a passion for basketball through the social fantasy of being in their heros shoes, the varsity player is striving to reach their potential from the hero's example.

For someone trying to help each of these young players grow in basketball they may use the same principle of making a hero out of the same pro all star but they are going to shape what they emphasize about the all star differently depending on what the young person needs in order to continue developing. For the new kid you might just talk about the wonder of how amazing the pro is at playing, and how fun it is to watch them. For the varsity kid you might still talk about how good the pro is but now you might also spotlight details about their technique that the kid wouldn't notice, or mention things you think the kid could do like the pro if they worked on it.

Before you get too far in thinking through how to impart convictions using the below principles it is helpful to first think through what phase of maturity development your SG members need to emphasize regarding the convictions, and their attributes, that you are trying to impart at this time. Once you have thought through if they need play, practice, altruistic purpose, or lifelong development emphasized you can better think through what principles to use and how to use them.

WHAT Are Phases Of Maturity?

There are certainly a number of ways that you could break down the answer to this question. The framework that we have found most insightful for thinking through how to impart Kingdom Convictions is a breakdown by Angela Duckworth on the phases of developing purpose in our lives and the Grit/Passion that accompany a strong sense of purpose. Another corresponding framework that is helpful to mention is that child development often parallels spiritual formation in many ways. The below framework is based on the stages of purpose/passion development, but will overlap with child development concepts at times. Below is a summary and breakdown of each stage as it relates to Conviction Creation.

  • Play (self motivation)
  • Practice (expression of self motivation)
  • Altruistic Purpose (others motivation)
  • Lifelong Development (expression of both motivations)

Reading & Other Resources

  » Play »

Assess at what phase of conviction maturity your SG members are in and then disciple accordingly (EMPHASIZE PLAY, PRACTICE, ALTRUISTIC PURPOSE or LIFELONG DEVELOPMENT)

Scriptures Or Scriptural Principles Related To This Principle

  • The value of God's Kingdom in your life vs the intrinsic value of God no matter the benefit to you
    • The value of the Kingdom of God to you - Matthew 13:45 “Again, the kingdom of heaven is like a merchant seeking beautiful pearls, 46 who, when he had found one pearl of great price, went and sold all that he had and bought it.
    • Intrinsic value of God and His Kingdom - Revelation 4:11 “You are worthy, our Lord and God, to receive glory and honor and power, for you created all things, and by your will they were created and have their being.”

Maxims And Quotes Related To This Principle

  • Sin is overcome by the expulsive power of a greater affection
  • You emulate what you elevate, you elevate what you entertain
  • Intent prior to content
  • Love by nature binds itself
  • Love & laughter plow hard hearts

WHY Is Play So Important In Developing Convictions?

Scott Martin, our National Director in Chi Alpha, uses an apt analogy when he talks about teaching kids to love fishing. He will tell you that you have to give them early and easy success so start by taking them to the stocked pond. While a serious fisherman wouldn't even find enjoyment in the lack of challenge and technique needed to catch the fish in a stocked pond it lets your kid experience the reward of fishing. Later they can learn to appreciate the work it will take to get the trophy fish. Without those early experiences your kids will lose the desire to suffer for the reward and will see only the cost of the longer, more arduous fishing excursion instead of the anticipation of the reward. Paul once said Jesus saw the reward of the cross and it was the anticipation of that great reward that let Him endure the cross (Hebrews 12:2 paraphrased). Play is about developing the desire that can birth greater works in the life of your disciple.

WHAT Is Play?

Play is learning to love a thing through enjoying the experience of it and/or coming to appreciate its significance for you. Play is typically low on challenge and commitment but high in inviting people to interact with something over and over in an enjoyable way. While play here does not have to be defined by its strictest definition it is most easily understood by what play does in creating deeper passion in our lives. Play develops the convictions of the Kingdom in SG members lives as their SG leaders Fight For" them to experience the attributes of KPR. As the SG members continue to interact with a conviction it becomes more natural for them to "buy in" to making that attribute a conviction of their life.

Franciscan Monks once coined the idea that in our faith Love goes through 4 stages. The first is we love ourselves for our sake, the second is that we love God for our sake, the third is that we love God for His sake and the last is that we love ourselves again but now for His sake. Play is saying that if we are going to love anything it often starts by finding that second step where we learn to love the attributes of God and His Kingdom through our enjoyment of Him, or appreciation of His value to our lives.

This phase is often marked by a discipler giving high invitation and low challenges. Think through the example of the kid learning basketball vs being on the basketball team above. Challenge can be part of play but is not the emphasis. When it does come into play it is normally as pushing people to a place where they can experience the joy of something. Emagine you are hiking a 14k mountain but you're starting to lose motivation until a friend who is with you pushes you to keep going so you can experience the wonder at the top. In this way they did challenge and encourage you to keep going but only as it got you to the place of enjoying the reward of hiking. However, to contrast play with practice, which we will talk about next, your friends pushing is not about creating a workout regimen so you are fit for the hike. If that were needed before I could reach the top my friend would be better off looking for shorter hikes with a view so I could have enjoyable experiences that didn't require a lot of sacrifice or commitment to achieve.

High invitation is about giving someone opportunities to try a thing, in our case giving people opportunities to experience responsibility. Often one or two interactions with responsibility is not enough to create the passion we are looking to ignite in someone's life, but rather regular repeated opportunities are needed. Giving someone opportunities means that while you may encourage, you are not creating expectation so you shouldn't expect that every opportunity will be realized. Our example of the friend pushing us to hike the 14er is a good example here. High invitation is also generally marked by a lot of praise and celebration. When you're learning to play basketball you need a lot of praise for the effort even if you don't have a lot of skill yet. Oftentimes this celebration can create motivation even if what you're being celebrated for isn't something you enjoy yet. A study done about professional pianists found that they did not typically have initial piano teachers who were uniquely skilled at piano. Instead the research spotlighted that the initial piano teachers were remembered for the way they made piano lessons fun, and how the students were celebrated for their efforts (See "the talent code" by Daniel Coyle). The piano teachers were uniquely skilled, but at helping the kids enjoy piano lessons even if they didn't necessarily have a sense of enjoyment from playing the piano itself at first.

WHEN Should Your Discipleship Focus On Play?

  • Fighting For behaviors are largely based on Play as you are trying to get a contact to encounter and interact with you, Jesus and your community with the hope of developing interest that leads to joining your SG. In contrast the remainder of the phases of maturity are almost entirely Feeding principles.
  • Whenever you are trying to impart an attribute of KPR that your SG member doesn't have a lot of experience in, or when their experience in the conviction attribute hasn't left them loving it.
    An example could be you have a young Christian who doesn't have a consistent prayer life. Maybe in this situation you talk a lot with them about how your prayer life has made your faith so much more fulfilling as you are able to abide with Him through your day as a result. Then you prayer walk with them around campus during some relational time for them to experience your prayer life. Make sure to celebrate whatever prayer they express during that time. Maybe you do a short term goal of praying every morning together with your small group for a week and do something to celebrate having done it at the end of the week (see "the habits that we impart '' for more details here).

Pro Tips & Next Steps For HOW To Express Play In Your Discipleship

Their is a lot of room for innovation here depending on your situation however whatever you do it should include:

  • Making sure they love their experience in the Kingdom attribute your imparting either by them enjoying the experience itself or feeling a sense of accomplishment through the experience.
  • Make a plan for them to experience the conviction attribute you are emphasizing a number of times and in a number of ways. Play can often be driven by novelty, but needs repeating positive interaction with it if they are going to develop a conviction for it.
  • Make sure your discipleship approach leaves them wanting more, not grateful that its over, even if they are grateful they did it. Too often people walk away from seasons of developing spiritual disciplines saying I'm so glad I did that, and I am so glad it's over. That can be an attribute of some forms of deliberate Practice but not Play.
  • Keep your emphasis on high vision and invitation instead of high challenge.
  • Sandwich Play with other things already enjoyed. It's been shown that one way that we start to enjoy something is by sandwiching it between things that we already enjoy. If you talk about sports, Jesus and then movies with someone who likes sports and movies then you create the space for them to stay motivated while you talk about Jesus until they discover the intrinsic value and enjoyment in talking about Jesus. Going to dinner with your SG before a XA service and to the movies after could be an example of sandwiching the routine of going to the worship service with students who are somewhat adverse to "organized religion".

Other Conviction Creation Principles, On This Page, That Commonly Help In Play

  • THE ACTIONS WE CELEBRATE
  • THE ATTRIBUTES WE CALL OUT IN THEM
  • THE HEROES WE MAKE
  • THE STORIES WE TELL
  • THE VALUES THAT OUR EXPERIENCES FORGE
  • WHAT YOUR ENVIRONMENT COMMUNICATES

Reading & Other Resources

  » Practice »

Assess at what phase of conviction maturity your SG members are in and then disciple accordingly (EMPHASIZE PLAY, PRACTICE, ALTRUISTIC PURPOSE or LIFELONG DEVELOPMENT)

Scriptures Or Scriptural Principles Related To This Principle

  • I Timothy 4:7 Have nothing to do with godless myths and old wives’ tales; rather, train yourself to be godly. 8 For physical training is of some value, but godliness has value for all things, holding promise for both the present life and the life to come.
  • 2 Timothy 1:6 For this reason I remind you to fan into flame the gift of God, which is in you through the laying on of my hands.

Maxims and Quotes Related To This Principle

  • Responsibility is miracle grow for your faith
  • If you live in your competency you'll never grow your capacity
  • Start with conscious incompetence until it becomes unconscious competence
  • Stop praying God use me and start praying God make me useable
  • God doesn't call the equipped, He equips the called
  • Army not an audience

WHY Is Practice Important In Developing Convictions?

Have you ever played an organized sport as a kid? If you ever did then you probably remember the constant challenge of the coaches, the pushing through your own fears and inhibitions to go further than you had before and the grit it took to do it again after the soreness of a hard workout. Maybe two a days, early morning practices or long trips for games were part of your experience of being on the team. While nearly no one would say they played their sport for practice, most would probably say that practicing is how they developed how to play the sport they loved.

Practice is key in developing Kingdom minded convictions. If we help people play with a conviction but never help them practice developing that conviction in their life than it would be like you trying to be competitive in a sport without practicing it. Practice is important in discipleship as we help people develop convictions for themselves, and not just encounter the convictions expressed in our own lives.

The Kingdom of God is about God's rule in this world. Our place in that kingdom is secure for those who have accepted Jesus' work on the cross. Despite knowing all of that we often act like the pauper even as we know that we are the children of that Kingdom. Perhaps the greatest way that we can change the identity we have owned in our lives is to act out it's convictions in our own experiences. The more I prioritize reading the Word, the more the Word has power in my life, the more I pray the more I see my relationship with God as central to my life and who I am in the Lord. We want to develop people's practice in Kingdom convictions because through expressing those convictions we internalize those convictions as core to who we are and how we seek first His Kingdom in our world.

While Practice can be core to how we claim the identity that is already ours in the Lord, it is also challenging to stretch ourselves past what we are comfortable with. That is why Play is key before going too far with Practice, and why our encouragement, support, developing habits and other Conviction Creation principles are key to keep them motivated in the challenge of practice.

WHAT Is Practice?

Where Play is seen as building desire for more by experiencing an attribute of KPR in an enjoyable way, practice is more focused on fulfilling that desire for more through intentional development. If Play is the kid learning to shoot a basket on the playground during recess then Practice is that kid now wanting to discover their potential by joining the basketball team. Deliberate practice that is effective in developing someone's skill in an area is marked by a few key attributes.

  1. For one Practice is marked by what are sometimes called stretch goals. If you practice what you are good at then you won't advance in developing your skill, though you might maintain. However if you push yourself past what you are capable of doing you will likely get discouraged and quit before advancing. A stretch goal is setting a plan for deliberate development that is in that window where you are capable of doing it but maybe not yet competent. Some research suggests that a stretch goal should be helping you strive to improve by 4%. Another study suggests that a stretch goal should give you about a 50% success experience. Maybe you have someone who does not have a devo life, but you are helping them come up with a plan to start a daily devo life. If they pull off the devo time 4 days a week maybe that is a good plan, but if they do it 2 days a week maybe it's too much. While those numbers may not always translate into how you can grow someone's convictions they do help give us a sense of what constitutes a stretch goal. When your disciple feels challenged but also growing success through practice they are expressing a stretch goal. The more someone develops the experience of a conviction expressing itself in their lives the more they make that conviction a part of their lives and how they see themselves as a child of God.

  2. Another is the need for repetition. Malcolm Gladwell popularized the idea that most "talented" people have 10,000 hours of experience. While that may seem like an impossible goal in your discipleship, we can remember that the more they practice their faith the more they are going to grow in their faith with no end in sight. For those who enjoy breaking things down you can also think about how we are helping people grow in their faith as a lifestyle. 10,000 hours is the equivalent of about 50 hours a week for 4 years. If we have a SG member who is learning to bring their faith into their approach to friendships, their motivations for education, their thoughtlife throughout the day than in some way we could say their discipleship would be the equivalent of them in some way letting their faith affect their life for 50 hours a week for their college career. That is not to say that discipleship is ever done, but that they can develop a faith journey that propels them into lifelong development.

A final attribute of good practice is feedback. Sometimes this can be your own assessment, or other times this can come from others but any number of examples have shown that people need to get constructive feedback if the repetition into stretch goals is going to create positive habits in your life. For myself I grew up realizing that I had some skill as a sprinter and even had been part of a team that let me practice as I pushed myself to get better but it wasn't until I joined a varsity track team that I got the feedback that corrected my bad habits that had developed alongside my developing skill.

One example could be you helping your SG member grow in prayer by creating a plan for how they can pray every day with feedback from you along the way on components of your prayer life that have helped you. Maybe you are helping someone grow in honor by setting a goal to say something honoring in every significant conversation they have as you give them feedback periodically on how to do it in more meaningful ways and with more social intelligence. Whatever your plan is in developing their discipleship, learning to help them practice expressing our convictions as they own their identity as a child of God is key.

WHEN Do You Emphasize Practice In Your Discipleship?

Practice should be developed in a SG member when their experience in a KPR attribute leaves them ready and wanting more.

Pro Tips & Next Steps For HOW To Express Practice In Your Discipleship

Their is a lot of room for innovation depending on your situation however core ideas include:

  • Developing a habit related to that attribute (see "The Habits we Instill'' below for more thoughts on how to go about this). An example could be praying in a prayer language for 30 days after they have experienced the "Baptism in the Holy Spirit".
  • Make a plan for their deliberate Practice
    • What's a way they could stretch themselves in expressing the conviction you're helping them focus on?
    • How could that stretch goal use repetition?
    • How can you do their practice with them at times, give them accountability as well as feedback in their Practice?

Other Conviction Creation Principles, On This Page, That Commonly Help In Practice

  • THE BELIEFS MOST EXPRESSED IN YOUR COMMUNITY
  • THE CHALLENGE & SUPPORT WE GIVE
  • THE COACHING & ACTIVE LISTENING WE EXPRESS
  • THE CONVICTIONS WE MODEL
  • THE HABITS WE INSTILL
  • THE PLANS WE CREATE & OBSTACLES WE PLAN FOR

Reading & Other Resources

  » Altruistic Purpose »

Assess at what phase of conviction maturity your SG members are in and then disciple accordingly (EMPHASIZE PLAY, PRACTICE, ALTRUISTIC PURPOSE or LIFELONG DEVELOPMENT)

Scriptures Or Scriptural Principles Related To This Principle

  • Christianities value to you vs the intrinsic value of God and His Kingdom independant of your self motivation
    • Intrinsic value of God and His Kingdom - Revelation 4:11 “You are worthy, our Lord and God, to receive glory and honor and power, for you created all things, and by your will they were created and have their being.”
    • Its value to you - Matthew 13:45 “Again, the kingdom of heaven is like a merchant seeking beautiful pearls, 46 who, when he had found one pearl of great price, went and sold all that he had and bought it.

Maxims and Quotes Related To This Principle

  • Jesus is the integration point of all life
  • God’s right on our lives is founded in his value
  • We don’t ask Christ to become Lord, we acknowledge that He already is
  • The chief end of man is to glorify God and enjoy him forever

WHY Is Altruistic Purpose Important In Developing Convictions?

Of all of the steps in developing purpose being driven by altruistic purpose is probably the most valued in christianity, at least as an aspirational motivation, and yet is often the least expressed. If we only express Jesus' command to Love God and love your neighbor for what we get in return then our love is only self love with God and my neighbor as means to expressing love to myself, and not the true object of my affection. As a result such love is only as strong as it benefits me, and is a very immature love as it has yet to see past myself. C.S. Lewis when talking about humility said that humility was "Not thinking less of oneself, but thinking of oneself less". Humility and love are close companions of each other and serve one another in pushing our attention beyond ourselves. The fact that we often don't recognize our love for the self seeking nature that it is only highlights how supreme our concern for self can often be. Many of the old preachers used the concept of the "expulsive power of a greater affection" in our God as the escape from this trap of our own making. As we seek to glorify the Lord for His intrinsic worth we move past our concern of self by finding a greater concern that sweeps us away in His magnitude and power.

WHAT is Altruistic Purpose?

Where PLAY is building desire for KP or R and their attributes by experiencing enjoyment and fulfillment in them, Altruistic Purpose is about stretching our motivation past ourselves and learning to love God for His sake no matter what we get out of it. Altruistic Purpose is a more mature motivation than what develops through Play, and can sometimes develop in someone's life before Practice or even Play. That said it most normally develops as we seek to more deliberately develop the attributes of God and His Kingdom in our lives.

So are we to see anything other than altruistic purpose as an appropriate motivation? Often we see altruistic purpose and self motivation as two sides of a scale with one or the other being our motivation and only one of them being appropriate for a Christian. The problem with this is that Jesus does not hide the benefit he was offering to the individual even as he pushed them past that singular focus. Angela Duckworth's book on Grit spotlights research that highlights the idea that the most resilient people are those who are driven by a sense of service to humanity as well as the motivation to make one's own life matter. While one or the other can motivate us, it is the two working together that creates the strongest motivation. Contrary to our intuition, self motivation and altruistic motivation are not two sides of a scale, but rather are two separate scales that can work together. In XA we often tell small group leaders that they should fight to have a legacy on the campus and we should fight to glorify God. One is self motivated and one is altruistic but the two together creates a strong adhesive to the convictions we are seeking to live out. Think of the student who you are trying to develop a prayer life with. At first they may have played with prayer as they were enamored by their ability to experience the presence of God for themselves, but as they develop in prayer they need to understand worship and praise to the Lord as they recognize in prayer His intrinsic worth. To use a personal example I should love my spouse selflessly but regular experiences of enjoyment of my spouse is also helpful to connect me to my love of her for a healthy long term relationship.

WHEN Do You Emphasize Altruistic Purpose?

Altruistic Purpose should always be part of the diet of any Christian but this motivation becomes most important when someone has begun diving into Practice or when they find themselves in a season where the enjoyment and fulfillment is not felt as strongly.

Pro Tips & Next Steps For HOW To Express Altruistic Purpose In Your Discipleship

There's a lot of room for innovation depending on your situation however core ideas include:

  • Making sure that we teach on God's character on a regular basis and not only on how He will benefit our lives is important.
  • Making heros and sharing stories that celebrate sacrifice are great ways to push people to aspire to acts of sacrifice.
  • Lead your SG members to express worship in your meetings that focuses on His character.

Other Conviction Creation Principles, On This Page, That Commonly Help In Practice

  • THE HEROES WE MAKE
  • THE STORIES WE TELL
  • THE BELIEFS MOST EXPRESSED IN YOUR COMMUNITY
  • THE CONVICTIONS WE MODEL
  • THE VALUES THAT OUR EXPERIENCES FORGE

Reading & Other Resources

  » Lifelong Development »

Assess at what phase of conviction maturity your SG members are in and then disciple accordingly (EMPHASIZE PLAY, PRACTICE, ALTRUISTIC PURPOSE or LIFELONG DEVELOPMENT)

Scriptures Or Scriptural Principles Related To This Principle

  • Psalm 42:7 Deep calls to deep in the roar of your waterfalls; all your waves and breakers have swept over me.
  • Proverbs 19:8 The one who gets wisdom loves life; the one who cherishes understanding will soon prosper.
  • Psalm 25:4 Show me your ways, Lord, teach me your paths.

Maxims and Quotes Related To This Principle

  • Knowledge = responsibility, responsibility accepted = more light, responsibility rejected = guilt
  • God’s laws are descriptions of reality from an infinite perspective
  • Thought > action > habit > character > destiny
  • Why do you do the things you do and who do you do them for?

WHAT Is Lifelong Development And Why Is It Important In Developing Convictions?

I remember one of my interns coming up to me after hearing me share about how I had been leading a small group based ministry for over a decade and I still was trying to figure out what a small group was. He shared with me how he was confused because he had been a student leader and then had joined staff with CSU's XA and after only a couple of years felt like he had a pretty good grasp of what a small group was. "Why do you keep saying you're still trying to figure this out? '' he asked. "It seems pretty straightforward to me."

Novelty is typically the lense we are used to thinking through when it comes to whether we understand something or not. To use the analogy we have been referencing throughout this material, the kid who doesn't understand the rules of how to play basketball or has ever played with dribbling or shooting a basket clearly doesn't understand the game. However once they understand these basics they come to realize how much they don't understand. Their knowledge opens up a depth of understanding that reveals how much more they don't understand about playing the game, not a satisfaction with their mastery of the game. To use another example that always fills me with a sense of wonder, think of the kid who is taught about the nature of the universe. Their revelation that the stars in the night sky are billions of suns, much like our own daytime sun, only opens up more questions for the inquisitive mind that has left countless physicists exploring the depths of the cosmos through human history and remains a field of science growing in mystory seemingly in growing proportion to the revelation they discover. That isn't to say that physics is futile since it has more questions the further it goes because it also finds answers along the way that has transformed everything from how we see our place in the universe to how we live day to day.

If that has been the experience of scientists seeking to uncover the creation around us, how much more does that speak to the creator who is continually calling us to "know" Him intellectually, experientially, and relationally. I had a friend once say that if you don't love your relationship with God now then why would you love Heaven. After all Heaven is just more of the God you are invited to know now.

To put it somewhat more succinctly Lifelong Development is the expression of a life that is driven by both Play and Altruistic Purpose, that has developed a passion for a Kingdom Conviction, and sees an ongoing purpose through their convictions that continues to drive them to deeper understanding and experiences with their God. We need to take on a mindset in discipleship that pushes people to see our relating to God and His calling for us in this world as a lifelong trajectory instead of a limited task to be mastored so we can move on. Lifelong development is saying that discipleship is never done but grows in revelation and richness as we realize the more we mature in our faith the more we see how much more there is to grow. What joy comes from the wonder of a journey full of ongoing depths with the God who died for us!

WHEN Do You Emphasize Lifelong Development?

When someone feels like they understand and have "arrived" within any attribute of Kingdom Convictions. If the other phases of purpose creation have been done well, and vision has been developed into the future, lifelong development will often happen naturally in someone's life.

Pro Tips & Next Steps For HOW To Express Lifelong Development In Your Discipleship?

There's a lot of room for innovation depending on your situation however core ideas include:

  • Do you push them to greater areas of responsibility?
  • Do you challenge &/or coach them in how they can continue to grow in their faith?
  • Do you communicate discipleship as a direction or a destination in our lives?
  • Do you regularly bring them back to the "Why" of a conviction?

Other Conviction Creation Principles, On This Page, That Commonly Help In LIFELONG DEVELOPMENT

  • THE ATTRIBUTES WE CALL OUT IN THEM
  • THE BELIEFS MOST EXPRESSED IN YOUR COMMUNITY
  • THE COACHING & ACTIVE LISTENING WE EXPRESS

Reading & Other Resources

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Survey: Conviction Creation Principles

AREA 2: WHAT WE SAY

SPEAK IDENTITY (HONOR)

When We Speak Identity We Help Them Claim Their True Self

Scriptures Or Scriptural Principles Related To This Principle

  • Romans 12:10 (NIV) Be devoted to one another in love. Honor one another above yourselves.
  • I Peter 2:17 (ASV) Honor all men. Love the brotherhood. Fear God. Honor the king.
  • Deuteronomy 5:16 (NIV) "Honor your father and your mother, as the Lord your God has commanded you."

Maxims and Quotes Related To This Principle

  • People don't care how much you know until they know how much you care
  • Don’t surrender honesty in the pursuit of honor
  • Place a crown above their head and watch them grow into it

WHY Speaking Honor Over Each Other Is Important In Developing Convictions

There is a story from Charles Finny's ministry where a woman comes up to Finny and says that she doesn't know what to do. She has a daughter living with her who is lost and living totally out of control. Finny asks the woman to tell him what she thought her daughter would be like if she was a follower of Christ, to which the woman says "Oh I couldn't even imagine that ''. Finny then responds "Well that's your first problem" and tells the woman to go home and start treating and speaking to her daughter like the woman of God that she was made to be. Later through the changed way her mother began to treat her, the daughter gave her life to the Lord and started living like the woman of God that her mother said she was.

As much as we may like to think that we are our own person independant from the family, culture, and community we do life with, the reality is that much of how we have come to see ourselves is through the eyes of other people. The most powerful way that we see ourselves in others eyes is by the words they have spoken to and over us. When Gideon met the Angel of the Lord in Judges 6 he was told, "Stand up mighty warrior of God". This was in spite of the fact that in that moment he was threshing wheat in hiding and fear of Israel's enemies. Where the world would say, "You are what you do," the Bible says, "You are what He made you, and you can learn to act out that identity."

When someone comes into a SG community demonstrating honor we are teaching that person how to take on the identity that is already theirs in God. In a world that feels like it is always striving for value through validation, when the common question in their heads is, "Am I safe or significant in this group?" When we are constantly struggling with being significant or to overcome what people have negatively said about us, to walk into a community that is full of honor, speaking value and validation from who they are in God instead of what they have done, is one of the most attractive and transformative attributes a community can possess.

WHAT Do We Mean By Honor?

This is one of the few concepts that is repeated in multiple sections of these resources. You can find honor in both the “Core Convictions” section as well as here in the “Conviction Creation” principles, though both have been edited for their specific purposes. The reason is that honor is so interchangeable and necessary to both that to think of it in light of only one purpose was to lose the value of honor for the other. Honor means to have high respect, or great esteem for someone or something. In our context, we are generally talking about speaking a Kingdom identity over them, sometimes by celebrating what we love and respect about their character. We are looking to emphasize the God-given identity they have.

In contrast to the conviction creation principle below "THE ACTIONS WE CELEBRATE" that is spotlighting what they do, honor is emphasizing who they are. Sometimes that means affirming that identity by spotlighting how they are behaving in line with their identity, but we are ultimately helping them see themselves through God's eyes. What we do has a real impact in how we see ourselves so while we may theologically know we are a son or daughter of God, it is by behaving like one that we learn to claim that identity over ourselves. Our community's celebration of those developing habits and affirmation of our Kingdom identity helps us see ourselves as God sees us which creates a virtuous cycle. One where my behaviors are reinforcing my identity, my identity deepens my convictions and my convictions are driving my behaviors, all of which are being spurred on by the honor and celebration of the community.

Pro Tips & Next Steps For HOW To Express This Principle In Your Discipleship

  • Start by saying "You are ..." and then finish with some God given attribute. This can be easiest when they are acting out some Kingdom conviction in their life that you can spotlight such as "You are such a woman of prayer", but don't be restricted to that. For example, I know a highly impactful minister who often tells guys around him that they are, "Such a man of God" even before he knows a lot about them.
  • Have someone honor someone else publicly in front of your SG gathering each week
  • Help a SG member speak honor about another person in the SG behind that person's back. Later share with the person who was honored unknowingly what was said and who said it.

WHEN Should I Emphasize This Principle?

  • Try to honor your SG member at least once whenever you are together in a 1-on-1 conversation, and at least one person when you are in a group setting.

Common Feeding-behaviors (page 1), attributes (page 2) & principles (page 3) for the SG leader to prioritize while emphasizing this attribute:

Reading & Other Resources

  1. Company of the Committed by Elton Trueblood
  2. Six-week small group Bible study on Christian identity by Campus Ministry Today.
  3. Making Sense Of God by Timothy Keller

THE ACTIONS WE CELEBRATE

The Convictions, And Their Attributes, That We Celebrate Our SG Members Expressing Will As A Result Become Stronger Convictions Within Their Own Lives.

Scriptures Or Scriptural Principles Related To This Principle

  • Hebrews 10: 24 And let us consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds, 25 not giving up meeting together, as some are in the habit of doing, but encouraging one another—and all the more as you see the Day approaching.
  • Romans 15: 1 We who are strong ought to bear with the failings of the weak and not to please ourselves. 2 Each of us should please our neighbors for their good, to build them up. 3 For even Christ did not please himself but, as it is written: “The insults of those who insult you have fallen on me.”[a] 4 For everything that was written in the past was written to teach us, so that through the endurance taught in the Scriptures and the encouragement they provide we might have hope.
  • I Thessalonians 5: 11 Therefore encourage one another and build each other up, just as in fact you are doing.

Maxims and Quotes Related To This Principle

  • What you celebrate they will emulate
  • You emulate what you elevate, you elevate what you entertain
  • Place a crown above their head and watch them grow into it
  • You talk about what you love most
  • Emphasize intent prior to content

WHY Is Celebration Important In Developing Convictions?

How did you first learn to speak? No one could tell you yes that's right because you didn't know what yes meant yet and yet each of us grew up learning to speak, often before we even started walking. This process and many others like it child psychologists call "serve and return." The process probably went something like this for each of us. First we heard sounds from the people around us and from experimenting controlling our own bodies we found out that we could make them ourselves. When we did make sounds adults gave us positive reinforcement through attention, smiles and more direct interaction. Then we made a sound that, probably from pure accident, was similar to a real word and again the giants around us clapped and smiled. As we continued to develop the skill for making sounds, associations between words and things started to form. Now we started to connect certain sounds with things like "dad", "food", and "no". Eventually we found internal affirmation by being able to communicate our desires but that only came after the more deliberate celebration from others pushed us forward towards what we didn't yet understand the value of.

I remember one of my original teammates at CSU, Duncan Chance, telling me about his experience with developing a mind in love with God. When he first got into XA these guys around him suddenly were talking about these Christian authors, many of them old Christian classics that they had been reading. Duncan didn't consider himself a reader, and wouldn't have picked up a Christian classic even if he had been, but that is what the community around him clearly valued. In the best form of social pressure, Duncan started reading a Christian classic so he had something to share. When he did, the community gave him such positive reinforcement "serve and return" for the thoughts he shared from what he was reading that he continued reading for the affirmation. Eventually he realized he didn't need the communities affirmation any more than you do to speak, because he realized the value of having a mind in love with Jesus for his walk with God that reading served, but he only got there through the communities expressing its value for reading Christian classics and celebrated his small steps to do likewise. If our SG members are going to develop a conviction for the things of the Kingdom than we need to be celebrating their small steps along the way.

WHAT Do We Mean By Celebration?

When we talk about celebrating actions what we are meaning is that we need to speak affirmation for things they do that are reinforcing Kingdom behaviors and habits. Celebration can be closely connected to "speaking identity (honor)" that is in the Kingdom Relationship section of the Core Convictions page but where honor is focused on the idea of affirming Kingdom identity, celebration is more broad in its expression. The easiest way to delineate the two is to highlight that in speaking identity (honor) you are seeking to affirm the identity of someone, even if you use celebration to do it, where celebration is seeking to affirm the action that may or may not connect to their identity directly. In the former you are reinforcing who they are, and in the latter you are reinforcing what they did. To use an example let's say I tell a small group member that they are such a "man of God" after they mention something their learning in their devo life. In this case I'm honoring their identity even if I'm connecting their developing thought life as "evidence" to them of that fact. I could honor them as a "man of God" without any supporting evidence the next time I see them to just reinforce that identity in them. In contrast if I hone in on celebrating their thoughts from their devo life that may not connect to how they see themselves necessarily. In this case I'm simply trying to reinforce the positive behavior that will grow their walk with God.

In either case we need to make sure we are celebrating them on a regular basis and that our celebration is growing what matters in their life. I remember talking to a minister connected with a ministry who was focused on reaching out to athletes at CSU. He made the observation that in ministering to athletes he had to be careful to not celebrate their performance as an athlete because their identities were too often wrapped up in being an athlete. As much as he might want to join in on celebrating their wins he realized that to celebrate the behaviors that were connected to an identity competing with God was to reinforce where they were finding fulfillment through validation. When we celebrate we are affirming behaviors that serve to shape how we see ourselves and why we have value.

WHEN Should I Emphasize This Principle?

Celebration should always be part of our lives and our discipleship approach but it is often most critical when a SG member is just starting to develop a passion for a Kingdom Conviction. See Play above.

Pro Tips & Next Steps For HOW To Express This Principle In Your Discipleship

  • Whenever you are with your SG member ask them about how things are going in expressing their faith. If for example you have set goals, made plans, or have been working on spiritual discipline habits (see other principles in this section) then ask about them. Celebrate what they are doing and save that info for later.
  • Whenever you are with more than just one SG member than highlight something the student has been doing, especially if it is something that is new in their expressing Kingdom Convictions.
    • Spend time in your SG weekly meeting to spotlight members' accomplishments. Maybe do it in the guise of asking them to share what they have been learning from it which can make the celebration less synthetic and creates more permission giving for other members to do likewise as they learn to lean on each other
    • Talk during weekend hangouts to your cohort members about your student when they're there. If you spotlight what the SG student has been reading for example then the cohort member can help celebrate what the SG member is reading which creates a stronger culture que that this is something that our community values.

Reading & Other Resources

THE HEROES WE MAKE

The Lives Of Roll Models Will Create Powerful Examples For The Lives Of Our Small Group Members

Scriptures Or Scriptural Principles Related To This Principle

  • Hebrews 13: 7 Remember your leaders, who spoke the word of God to you. Consider the outcome of their way of life and imitate their faith.
  • Philippians 2: 3 Do nothing from rivalry or conceit, but in humility count others more significant than yourselves.

Maxims and Quotes Related To This Principle

  • You emulate what you elevate, you elevate what you entertain
  • Emulate before you innovate
  • Stop praying God use me and start praying God make me useable

HOW Do You Make A Hero & WHY Is It Important For Developing Convictions?

What is the connection between a 20 year old South Korean girl by the name of Se Ri Pak winning the Mcdonald's LPGA championship in 1998 and the 45 South Korean LPGA players who dominated the sport 10 years later? According to Daniel Coyle, in his book "The Talent Code," there was a direct connection between these two happenings. Daniel in his book looks into how "talent" is developed in our lives and discusses what he calls motivation ignitors. One of the most powerful ignitor concepts is when a community makes what I'm calling here "Heroes". A Hero is someone that a person or community elevates for what they have done.

It takes two things for a Hero to have a meaningful impact in our lives. The first is that we have to desire to be like them. That may sound somewhat obvious, and yet oftentimes who and what we aspire to in our lives are not necessarily attractive from the onset. A soldier may be elevated for their service, but their acts of sacrifice are not necessarily attractive by those who are looking from the outside. Or think of the example of a missionary's life. What a missionary may be called to endure and give up to advance the Kingdom of God around the world are not themselves attractive propositions. In fact it's because of those unattractive attributes that we see their lives as so heroic, but that by itself may not be enough to compel someone else's life to consider missions. To create desire in our lives is a broad and nuanced conversation that the rest of this page attempts to more fully answer but to put it simply what the community elevates is a major influencer in creating desire. It is often our community that helps set aspirations and ambitions in our heart through the things the community causes us to consider. While a student may see a missionary and say that may be good for them but its not my thing, it's the larger community spotlighting how the missionaries life is having impact and significance as a result of their sacrifice that keeps the student wrestling with what on the surface may have been an unattractive prospect until the deeper truth of their lives becomes understood and appreciated.

While the first thing needed for a Hero to have a meaningful impact in our lives is for us to desire to be like our Hero, the second is that we have to believe that it is possible for us to be like them. If we look up to someone but can't see ourselves ever being like them we are likely to feel frustrated by aspiring for something that we believe we can never attain. However the more we can connect to someone the more their example motivates us in our own lives. To reference the first example above, it wasn't girls from just any country who were influenced by Se Ri Pak's example. It was young South Korean girls who said if she can be a LPGA champion as a South Korean than so can I. It is as if South Korean girls were swept up by the excitement of their countries celebration of having a world champion golfer and suddenly girls all over South Korea wanted to golf, and believed they could be the next Se Ri Pak. When it comes to Heroes it's as if we are putting ourselves into their shoes and seeing how they fit. If I can say I would like to be this person, and I think I could be them then there is an expulsive power to unlock motivation in our lives. Daniel Coyle references a study done by Cohen and Gregory Walton who studied motivation. They found that if a student was told about another student who did very well in math, and somewhat randomly were also told that they had the same birthday as that fictional student, then they were more likely to have more resilience in trying to figure out subsequent math problems. It's as if subconsciously we feel more confident that their present reality can become our future identity the more we can connect ourselves to our role models. We see God doing this in the incarnation. Jesus coming as a human was an example of God showing us how we could live like Him, and not just commands to follow. It was as if Jesus was saying I'm making the incomprehensible Godhead relatable to your life and mine.

In our context when we talk about making a Hero we are talking about celebrating people who have modeled their identity as a child of God through their character and convictions. Similar to the concepts of honor and celebration, we are spotlighting how they lived in service to Christ and how we might use their example to do likewise.

I remember doing my internship with Chi Alpha (XA) at Sam Houston State Universities XA. At that time Sam Houston's XA was known for seeing more of their alumni go into foreign missions work after graduation than any XA in history. One of the things that always struck me as strange, even as it was inspiring, was how big of a deal they would make missionaries who visited their group. The XA would do more than let a missionary have a window at a worship service and move on, they would roll out the red carpet as it were. Missionaries were given every opportunity possible to speak 1on1, in small groups, in staff meetings, devos, worship services, in intern classes; whatever they could do to get their students to interact with the missionary. Staff understood they needed to bring students around the missionary whenever possible and to create a voice for the missionary with the student who didn't know them by honoring the missionary in meaningful ways. You might think with that level of disruption to the XA's rhythm that the XA would only rarely have a missionary visit, but the opposite was really true. I had never seen or heard of a campus ministry that had so many missionaries visit their ministry. It was no wonder their group was so effectively vision casting the heart and practicality of missions.

If we want to grow convictions for the Kingdom of God in the lives of our SG students then we need to ignite them with the passion for those convictions. Spotlighting and honoring people who can act as role models in what we are looking for our SG members to emulate in their own lives is a powerful tool in inspiring them to go and do likewise.

WHEN Should I Emphasize This Principle?

This principle can be utilized in any season of discipleship but is probably most impactful during Play aka early development of a conviction and it's attributes. For a fuller look at Play see the previous section on this page. Spotlighting Heros to someone who is just beginning to develop their passion for a conviction attribute gives them a picture of their possible future that can inspire their desire to push forward. A missionary may inspire you to missions or to evangelism in your life through the testimony of their lives impact for example.

Heroes continue to be impactful during any of the other phases of passion development but where in Play they act as aspirational characters, Heroes after this phase also begin to be a standard that challenges you to keep pushing in the area you were inspired to grow in originally. While the missionary may have inspired you to grow in witnessing originally, now they also may be a standard that challenges you to grow in prayer and dependence on the Lord as you Practice evangelism in your own life.

Pro Tips & Next Steps For HOW To Express This Principle In Your Discipleship

  • Oftentimes exposing your SG members to these respected individuals relationally can be a powerful permission giving opportunity as the personal interaction helps the student feel like they could live out what this person has exemplified in their own life. This can look like inviting someone to speak at your SG weekly meeting (zooming them is an easy way to make this possible), scheduling a meal with someone who is visiting the local XA ministry, doing a day trip to visit someone when possible etc.
  • Honoring the Hero to your SG for the way they lived out their convictions is key in giving someone a voice in the lives of your SG members.
  • Whenever possible connect the role model to the students lives. In a study done by Cohen and Gregory Walton they found that students who were told they had the same birthday as a fictional student who did well in math, were more likely to have positive attitudes about math and persist longer on math problems. While this may sound like a strange coincidence we are hardwired to pick up on belonging cues that tell us what we are capable of. This is one reason that stories are so powerful, especially if they have similarities to our own.
  • Reading and talking about books, especially biographies, with a SG student can be a great way to inspire them in their own life and convictions
  • Whenever possible connect who the role model used to be to who your SG members are so that your SG members can connect who they could be to who the role model is now.

Other Conviction Creation Principles, On This Page, That Commonly Help In Making Heroes

  • » PLAY »
  • THE STORIES WE TELL

Reading & Other Resources

THE STORIES WE TELL

The Values And Examples Within The Stories We Tell Will Help Shape What Small Group Members See As Truly Important To The Group, And What Is Possible For Them Through The Group

Scriptures Or Scriptural Principles Related To This Principle

  • I Corinthians 11:24 and when He had given thanks, He broke it and said, “This is My body, which is for you; do this in remembrance of Me.”
  • Psalm 77:11 I shall remember the deeds of the Lord; Surely I will remember Your wonders of old.
  • Malachi 3:16 Then those who feared the Lord spoke to one another, and the Lord gave attention and heard it, and a book of remembrance was written before Him for those who fear the Lord and who esteem His name.

Maxims and Quotes Related To This Principle

  • You talk about what you love most
  • Sin is overcome by the expulsive power of a greater affection
  • You will be tomorrow where your thoughts about God have taken you today
  • You emulate what you elevate, you elevate what you entertain
  • You become like what you worship

WHAT Stories Do We Tell, & WHY The Stories We Tell Are Important For Developing Convictions

I remember as a young man hearing missionaries at my church share about how God had lead them in amazing ways through their ministry, I would also hear personal accounts from family about moments they sensed the Lord guiding them, and I began reading the Bible and other contemporary stories about people of faith seeing the Lord doing amazing things. One common thread through all of these stories was that God speaks and amazing things happen when He does.

During my Sr year in High School I was certain that I would go to college but I didn't know where. Suddenly one day, as I was doing homework, I had what has been to this day one of the clearest words from the Lord I have ever had. The Lord told me that I wouldn't be going to college yet but that He wanted me to do missions first. He then said I would go to college but after two years I would transfer and that I would go to college in Colorado.

What would follow would take up too much time here but needless to say I had a God lead encounter that would lead me to spend that next year working with an organization called Y-WAM, would start college at the university of Idaho and then after my sophomore year leave Idaho to transfer to a university I had never heard of in Colorado called UNC. What was common during this season of my life was that I didn't understand what God was doing, but I did have confidence that I was following Him. Despite the doubt that you would think would fill my mind by stepping out in big ways to what I sensed the Lord guiding me to do, I instead felt a sense of confidence, assurance and excitement for the future. Years later I can look back and see how each of these steps were critical to lead me into the vision and purpose that God had in store for me but at the time it was the stories of others that helped to give me confidence as I stepped out in what I sensed the Lord leading me to do.

There are different kinds of stories with different sorts of outcomes depending on the context. The stories we tell SG members that spotlight things they haven't experienced in their own life and faith gives them a framework for what to expect with situations they themselves haven't experienced. Confidence in our lives often comes with experience but when our experiences fail to help us know what to expect the stories of others who we trust can fill in the gaps in our way of thinking. To use my story above it was the stories of missionaries and family that helped give me the confidence I needed to step out in what I was sensing the Lord tell me to do. In a similar way these stories can also inspire us to pursue a path that we may not have considered otherwise. The example of Sam Houston XA inspiring secular college students into missions, earlier in this section, would be an example of this in action. This is where "making heroes'' overlaps with this principle as what we are doing in making heroes is often telling their stories to inspire us in our own lives.

Another kind of story telling is not the informative and inspirational type, though they can do that as well, but are the stories that remind us of our shared identity. Daniel Coyle in his book "The Culture Code'' makes note of how unusually often strong cultures tell each other their own stories. This can be for a country, a workplace team or in micro with your SG students. As I write this my family has been making plans for the 4th of july weekend coming up in a couple days. 4th of July, from its fireworks, neighborhood bbq's and parades are a way for us to remember the story of our country, and its identity that we are part of. Stories that we share with each other help teather us with them in the present by reminiscing how we were tethered in the past. In contrast, stories we tell about our shared community reinforce the norms, convictions and vision of the community we claim affiliation with. Sharing these stories remind us of the value in the group and reinforce how people in this group act out the convictions of the community.
For a fuller look at this concept as it relates to SG relationships look at "Sharing Shared Stories" in the Fundamental Behaviors Page.

WHEN Should I Emphasize This Principle?

Informative and inspirational stories are good anytime but especially in seasons of "Play" where someone is growing in the passion for a conviction attribute. Stories about our community that connect SG members to our communities identity and/or to the broader Kingdom of God are especially important during seasons of "Practice" where people are striving to develop deeper convictions that their Kingdom of God identity helps keep them motivated.

Pro Tips & Next Steps For HOW To Express This Principle In Your Discipleship

  • Tell stories about Chi Alpha's beginning, former student or group stories that exemplify the vision and convictions of the group.
  • Whenever possible share stories that can connect to who your SG members are now so that your SG members can connect who they could be through the story. A testimony of how a former student leader with a legacy was like your current SG student can help them see themselves as a leader.

Other Conviction Creation Principles, On This Page, That Commonly Help In Telling Stories

  • » PLAY »
  • THE HEROES WE MAKE
  • THE BELIEFS MOST EXPRESSED IN YOUR COMMUNITY

Reading & Other Resources

  1. The Culture Code: The Secrets of Highly Successful Groups by Daniel Coyle

COMMUNICATING CONVICTIONS MEMORABLY

If We Want What We Impart To Stick We Need To Make Our Communication Memorable

Scriptures Or Scriptural Principles Related To This Principle

  • When Jesus told Peter that "the gates of Hades will not overcome it (His Kingdom)" in Matthew 16 he had taken his disciples to the entrance of a cave that the pagan peoples around Israel called "the gates of Hades". While it wasn't actually, and Jesus understood that, it would have been a very memorable lesson on the actual spiritual battle they were in.
  • Study Jesus' interaction with the woman at the well in John 4. Jesus would use her drawing water from the well as a metaphor for the Gospel message he was proclaiming.

Maxims and Quotes Related To This Principle

  • People usually forget what you say, but they will always remember how you treat them
  • You emulate what you elevate, you elevate what you entertain
  • Emulate before you innovate
  • Love & laughter plow hard hearts

WHAT Is Communicating Convictions Memorably And WHY Is It So Powerful In Developing Convictions?

I remember hearing about a small group leader throwing his guys into a university dumpster to talk about the stench of sin. It resounded with me because I often felt like the most boring thing about my SG's were the SG meetings. Me sitting with my guys around a table in the university center side room often felt steril and dry. In contrast, looking at Jesus' discipleship method in the gospels feels like an expression of one textile teaching moment after another.

From there I began to try making my 1-on-1's and SG meetings more memorable. Sometimes that meant employing the environment to help make my point such as hiking horsetooth rock and praying for the city splayed before us from the top. Other times I just tried to make my impartational moments more memorable such as going fishing and talking about how they are doing on the drive. Whatever creative ways you employ, it is helpful to remember that how we communicate will often matter as much, if not more, than how we communicate it. If we want to grow our SG in commitment to the group and conviction for the Kingdom then we need to make our communication memorable.

Pro Tips & Next Steps For HOW To Express This Principle In Your Discipleship

  • Ask if there is a creative way to talk about this Conviction.
  • Ask if there's a way to make this time memorable.
    • Sandwich Play with other things already enjoyed. It's been shown that one way that we start to enjoy something is by sandwiching it between things that we already enjoy. Charles Duhigg in his book "The Power Of Habit" references an example of how sandwiching new songs with songs we already like is one way that the music industry introduces us to new music. If you talk about sports, Jesus and then movies with someone who likes sports and movies then you create the space for them to stay motivated while you talk about Jesus until they discover the intrinsic value and enjoyment in talking about Jesus. Going to dinner with your SG before a XA service and to the movies after could be an example of sandwiching the routine of going to the worship service with students who are somewhat adverse to "organized religion".
    • Doing something they enjoy and talking about the Lord while you do it is a way to make your time more memorable. If it has a car drive then it's even better.
  • Look at the Core Convictions page and see the "Creative SG/1-on-1 meeting ideas" section under each attribute.

WHEN Should I Emphasize This Principle?

Whenever you are beginning to have a regular weekly meeting or 1-on-1's it is helpful to think creatively about how you could impart the Kingdom during those times.

Other Conviction Creation Principles, On This Page, That Commonly Help With This Principle

  • » Play »
  • THE STORIES WE TELL
  • THE THINGS WE MAKE VISIBLE
  • WHAT YOUR SPACE AND STRUCTURES SAY

Reading & Other Resources

THE BELIEFS MOST EXPRESSED IN YOUR COMMUNITY

Culture Is A Powerful Force Within Any Community And Is Most Likely To Be Created By The Beliefs Most Modeled & Expressed Within The Group

Scriptures Or Scriptural Principles Related To This Principle

  • Exodus 19:4-6 ‘You yourselves have seen what I did to the Egyptians, and how I bore you on eagles’ wings, and brought you to Myself. Now then, if you will indeed obey My voice and keep My covenant, then you shall be My own possession among all the peoples, for all the earth is Mine; and you shall be to Me a kingdom of priests and a holy nation.’ These are the words that you shall speak to the sons of Israel.”

  • I Corinthians 5: 10 I was not including the sexually immoral of this world, or the greedy and swindlers, or idolaters. In that case you would have to leave this world. 11But now I am writing you not to associate with anyone who claims to be a brother but is sexually immoral or greedy, an idolater or a verbal abuser, a drunkard or a swindler. With such a man do not even eat. 12What business of mine is it to judge those outside the church? Are you not to judge those inside?…

Maxims and Quotes Related To This Principle

  • You emulate what you elevate, you elevate what you entertain
  • The kingdom of God is established in relationship
  • Something must be loved before it becomes lovable
  • Hunger is caught not taught
  • People have to often belong before they believe

WHAT Is Creating A Community Of Belief And WHY It Is So Powerful In Developing Convictions?

I often tell teams who are about to pioneer a new ministry that they need to make sure that what is expressed in any setting is primarily the convictions they want the ministry to eventually model. This sounds somewhat obvious if you think about it but the challenge comes when the team begins to realize that in a pioneering setting they are immediately the minority voice in the room. Think for example if every person on a ministries pioneering team does a good job reaching out and inviting people into their lives. Before long each teammate will be bringing multiple people with them whenever the ministry gets together. While the team may celebrate their effectiveness in "Finding," they will often find that "Feeding" the convictions they are striving to impart is harder than they knew from the past. This is especially true if they came from a well established ministry where the convictions of the ministry have been cultivated and fought for over a long time.

My former Chi Alpha director, Eli Gautreaux, once mused that his sophomore students in the Chi Alpha group at Sam Houston State University were further along than his seniors used to be. The reason he said was that there was a gue to the group. Freshmen came into the group and the convictions of the larger community were so evident that the new students would quickly begin to pick up on the convictions that the group heald. He said in the past they were fighting so hard for people to really "get it" but now the group as a whole was teaching anyone who walked in through the way that the community expressed love to each other and to God. So why does the opinions and beliefs of the majority often sway us disproportionately to any personal thoughts or convictions we may hold personally?

Alcoholics Anonymous (AA) is a fascinating organization in no small part because it has worked where oftentimes more "clinical" or "modern" approaches have failed. AA has been so impactful in our society that while I have never been to a meeting I understand many of the components of AA simply from cultural references. People have been studying AA for decades in the effort to understand why it works despite what some might consider a not very scientific approach.

One of the things that researchers have come to realize in studying AA is the power of what they call having a community of belief. While this can have a religious aspect it is not necessarily a faith specific concept. One of the most well known habits of an AA meeting is to have people stand up, say their name, that they're an alcoholic and then share something of their story or struggle. This is powerful for two reasons. One is what it does for the person standing. They are confessing, being vulnerable and making their lives visible to the group. These can be powerful motivators for change as they force people to face their problem but to also have a group where, within the safety of people who understand their struggle, there is a challenge that sobriety is what this group is about. You can be celebrated for your wins or confess your setbacks and that social pressure to keep striving for sobriety can be a strong motivator for change. The shared struggle and success by AA's members speaks to belonging, being understood and perhaps most critically permission giving that if others in the group are succeeding then I can too. This brings us to the second thing that is happening when someone stands up and shares in an AA meeting. While sharing can be powerful for the person sharing, it is also powerful for what it does to everyone listening. What AA is doing is creating permission giving through example. The group listens to someone else share that they are fighting for sobriety and it tells you that you can do it too. If they confess struggles then it helps tether the listener to the speaker's story in a way that says I can relate, and if they are fighting for sobriety then shouldn't I be too. If they share victory over alcohol then it tells the listener that if they can do it then so can I. Either way it communicates that sobriety is possible and if I'm going to be part of this group then I better be serious about sobriety too.

I remember talking to a Chi Alpha director who shared his struggles with creating a culture of honor for his group because he pioneered his Chi Alpha by himself. While this guy modeled honor well to his community, it never took off in his early years of ministry because there wasn't a team at that time to model a community of honor to the larger group. In essence he didn't have a community of belief who could help him create the desire for or cultural norm of honor in his community. Communities of belief are huge for creating culture and community norms. This is one of the biggest reasons for needing a team when you plant a ministry. A team can model how to behave as a community to the larger community, but you still have to be intentional about sowing that sead regularly.

So what does this have to do with small group leading and building a Kingdom minded culture in my group? Well simply put you are like that Chi Alpha pioneer who was by himself when you are building a small group. Even if you are good at "Finding" people to join your group, how are you going to teach them to express the love of God in their own lives and within your group? This is why what you and your peers model is so important as a small group leader. What the majority models will set culture unless what is modeled the majority of the time trumps it. If I bring two students into the room and you bring two with you then we need to be more than twice as honoring towards each other and the guys we bring while we are together as they are complaining and negative about each other or others in their life. Perhaps things are not as formulaic as all that, and yet perhaps they are exactly that. In either case it is a good baseline to assess how you are doing at setting the culture. An interesting question is "What would a student say they need to model in their life to be part of your group"? What are the norms, the habits, the culture of the group for those who come into it and what do you want it to be? Beyond what you say is what the community does, and what that says about your true convictions. Fight on that front and what you say will likely find fertile soil, fight only with words or even your own example and you will rarely have the same impact if you have any at all.

WHEN Should I Emphasize This Principle?

Culture is set very quickly in a developing community so early is key if it is Kingdom Relationship concepts aka how you want your SG to act towards each other. When it comes to their Personal Relationship With God this principle becomes critical to model on an ongoing basis as you become more focused on Feeding them the Kingdom.

Pro Tips & Next Steps For HOW To Express This Principle In Your Discipleship

Make sure the main views being expressed in your weekly meetings are in line with KPR while balancing the need for the small group members to share and process their beliefs and questions. You may ask how I do that. See below for more details.

  1. In weekly meetings make sure that while you emphasize people sharing thoughts, the main concept is Kingdom at the end of the day.
    1. You can do that by using directional questions with the assumption of belief in them such as "Who could share about experiencing God's presence in prayer?" instead of "Do you believe God can speak in prayer?"
    2. Make sure your Kingdom perspective is the one expressed with the most authority. Strive to have the most well thought out perspective with the Bible and when possible cultural references for support of your perspective. (Listen to Timothy Keller as an example of someone who does this well.)
  2. Use your cohort, such as in weekend hangouts, to express your faith together in front of them and for them to interact with more believers of conviction than just you.

Other common Feeding-behaviors (page 1), attributes (page 2) & principles (this page) for the SG leader to prioritize while emphasizing this principle:

Reading & Other Resources

THE LANGUAGE WE USE

The Maxims, Quotes & Kingdom Conviction Descriptions Are Powerful Ways That We Shape Peoples Perspective On God and His Kingdom In This World

Scriptures Or Scriptural Principles Related To This Principle

  • Isaiah 50: 4 The Sovereign Lord has given me a well-instructed tongue, to know the word that sustains the weary. He wakens me morning by morning, wakens my ear to listen like one being instructed.

Maxims and Quotes Related To This Principle

  • You talk about what you love most
  • Knowledge = responsibility, responsibility accepted = more light, responsibility rejected = guilt
  • You will be tomorrow where your thoughts about God have taken you today
  • Emulate before you innovate

WHAT Is The Language We Use And WHY It Is So Powerful In Developing Convictions?

"Love is unselfishly choosing for the highest good of another." I remember doing my internship with Chi Alpha at Sam Houston State where I first heard that definition of love. I didn't just hear it once but multiple times and it was generally used as the foundation for talking about the concept. To this day I can't hear a talk about love without thinking of how it connects or competes with that description, and I often use it when talking about love myself.

The Chi Alpha at Sam Houston State University has often been argued to be the most impactful Chi Alpha group in the history of our ministry. Between pioneering more XA groups than any other XA in our history, being the largest ministry with the most small group leaders that a XA has ever had, leading in cross cultural missions along with its broader impact on how XA does ministry at a fundamental level the XA at Sam has a lot to admire. Now there are a number of things that people point to for why Sam Houston XA has experienced the level of impact they have but one that often gets overlooked, despite it being pervasive within the ministry and within the lives of the leaders that it has sent out, is their use of maxims (a short, pithy statement expressing a general truth or rule of conduct) and definitions. Eli Gautreaux, the founder and director of Sam Houston XA until recently, once told me that his sophomores were further along than his seniors used to be. When asked why he said that the culture of the community was so strong that it was like gue that you caught so much more quickly because everyone was in on creating the culture for the younger students. From my experience with the ministry I would say that the pervasive use of maxims are one of the primary ways that the culture was so strong.

Daniel Coyle, in his book "The Culture Code," talks about how powerful maxims are in creating a uniform culture. He references Danny Meyer, the highly successful New York restaurant pioneer, as someone who has used maxims as a core method with his employees to consistently launch profoundly successful restaurants despite having a variety of different kinds of restaurants and being in an industry that is deeply competitive. Danny Meyer says "On the surface, these look like garden-variety corporate aphorisms. In fact, each of them functions as a small narrative in itself, providing a vivid mental model for solving routine problems. These sayings become short-hand “cultural heuristics'' that embody the culture of the team. They can be easily taught to new members and also used to remind existing members of their responsibilities to their customers and each other." Daniel Coyle goes on to highlight how language like maxims help to shape how we think, see and respond to our situations. As we seek to impact our SG members' lives with the convictions of the Kingdom, and their corresponding attributes, we need to think through the language we use and the use of language to impart the Kingdom into their lives.

WHEN Should I Emphasize This Principle?

  • The language we use needs to be a habit of the culture as much as a moment to spotlight. That being said, things like maxims, quotes and conviction definitions are typically most needed in seasons and with individuals where feeding is the primary emphasis. SG meetings and 1on1's are great contexts to be intentional but using them with peer relationships are often the best way for them to be caught by those SG members who see you use them.

Pro Tips & Next Steps For HOW To Express This Principle In Your Discipleship

Reading & Other Resources

THE COACHING & ACTIVE LISTENING WE EXPRESS

The Questions You Ask, How Often You Listen And In What Way You Listen Are Often As Important As What You Say

Scriptures Or Scriptural Principles Related To This Principle

  • I Peter 3:12 "For the eyes of the Lord are on the righteous and his ears are attentive to their prayer, but the face of the Lord is against those who do evil.”
  • James 1: 19 My dear brothers and sisters, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry

Maxims and Quotes Related To This Principle

  • People don't care how much you know until they know how much you care
  • People usually forget what you say, but they will always remember how you treat them
  • Love & laughter plow hard hearts
  • Stop praying God use me and start praying God make me useable
  • Pursue intensely but come across casually

WHY Is Coaching And Active Listening Important In Your Discipleship?

Jesus asked over 300 questions that are recorded in the Gospels. Most of the questions he asks he never answers for his audience but leaves them to grapple with the answer. For the most influential teacher in human history he sure spent a lot of his time not teaching.

Oftentimes what sticks in our lives is not what people have told us but what they have helped us discover. Like a friend telling you about an incredible vista it doesn't have the same impact on you like that friend leading you to see for yourself. To take the analogy in another direction, sometimes we have a better idea of where to go to see an awesome view than our friends but we need someone to help us think through where we want to go.

Daniel Coyle in his book "The Culture Code '' spotlights Dr. Carl Marci's research on a neurological response that he calls concordance interactions. Marci used tools to track galvanic skin response (the change in electrical resistance that measures emotional arousal) and found that with people who could really listen and be present with another person, they had powerful moments of relational connection where their galvanic responses were in perfect sync. Marci says about these concordance interactions There's an accelerated change to the relationship that happens when you’re able to really listen, to be incredibly present with the person. It’s like a breakthrough-We were like this, but now we’re going to interact in a new way, and we both understand that it’s happened”. To interact with someone in a way that is this meaningful goes further faster in creating friendship and value to our discipleship relationship than sometimes months of regular relational time without these kinds of interactions.

In our discipleship we often don't know what to say and even when we do have some advice or incite to give we don't always know how to get them to listen. Coaching and active listening are skills that every discipler needs to grow in if our SG members are going to take hold of the Convictions we are seeking to impart into their lives.

WHAT Is Coaching And Active Listening?

Active listening should be part of a coaching conversation though it is not by definition coaching. Coaching and active listening each have somewhat different definitions though they serve each.

  • Coaching is a skill set that strives to help the other person come to their own conclusions through things like asking questions, active listening and short directional comments.
  • Active listening is a skill where you are seeking to truly hear the other person. Coaching conversations, or just good conversation skills, utilize communication like asking open ended questions, paraphrasing, expressing and responding appropriately to body language ques, etc. Sometimes these skills together are called active listening.

WHEN Should I Emphasize This Principle?

Coaching is a great skill to utilize in a number of contexts, but perhaps most relevant when the student in your SG is at the same level of maturity or even greater maturity than you. Often SG leaders don't know how to disciple in this case but coaching gives you a framework to always be relevant in their faith journey. Another time that coaching can be relevant, somewhat similar to above, is when the SG member is at the level "Lifelong Development" in their maturity. As they have a passion and developed a level of skill and habit in an area of spiritual formation, they don't need as much a teacher to student interaction but instead peer processing.

Active listening is always a relevant skill to utilize no matter their level of maturity. Active listening is especially useful when your having a 1-on-1 conversation.

Pro Tips & Next Steps For HOW To Use This Principle In Your Discipleship

  • Coaching: Coaching is a skill set that would be too exhaustive to do a thorough job explaining here. That said there are a number of core coaching concepts that any small group leader can utilize to great effect without requiring an in depth understanding of coaching itself. One form of a coaching conversation follows what is called the coaching funnel. Tony Stoltzfus in his book "Coaching Questions'' gives a great explanation of the funnel approach that we are going to summarize below. For a fuller understanding of a funnel conversation, coaching, and active listening principles see his book "Coaching Questions''.
    As a practical step for SG leaders, have a conversation this week and see if you can follow the funnel progression in your conversation. Don't worry about getting everything right, but see how well you can intuitively follow the outline below to help your SG member move forward in expressing Kingdom Convictions.

  1. Goal
    1. Discuss what they are wanting to grow in.
    2. Define the problem. Discuss what the goal is trying to overcome. Are their obstacles, attitudes, situations, habits that this goal is trying to overcome?
    3. Try to create SMART (Specific, Measurable, Attainable, Relevant, Time-Specific) goals.
  2. Exploration
    1. Probing questions. Try to look at the situation from multiple angles. Sometimes talking about the situation from it's history, their emotional state, alternate viewpoints, etc. can add clairity to the conversation.
    2. Reflection questions. Ask them questions that can help them reflect on their situation and reflect on what they are hoping to accomplish through their goal. Reflecting on the past and painting a picture for the future is helpful in creating motivation and self awareness.
  3. Options.
    1. The Five Options Technique. Tony Stoltzfus says "When we are mulling over a challenge we face on our own, we tend to stop thinking creatively after two or three options." The five options technique is simply probing your SG member for more options for how to accomplish their goal so that they go past the obvious to the more creative
    2. Ideal Future Technique. This technique is about having your SG member visualize the ideal future in as much visual detail as possible and then move backward from there to create options for how to move towards that future. Sydney Finkelstein in his book "Superbosses' ' references Ralph Lauren who would regularly have his executives talk through how, where, when, etc. they envision their customers using their clothing in great pictorial detail and then worked on what their clothing should be from there.
  4. Decisions
    1. Could Do>Want To>Will Do Model. In this approach your asking your SG member what of the options you discussed they think they could realistically do, then which they want to do, and which they could commit to do.
    2. Other decision making strategies. Other decision making strategies can include asking what they think is the most rational approach, what their gut says or what most aligns with what the Lord has been guiding them in.
  5. Action
    1. Mental contrasting. Mental contrasting is about taking a goal, making plans or action steps and then discussing obstacles to your plan and making a plan for those obstacles. While action steps may have been flushed out in discussing options, often they have not been discussed in much depth. Now is the time to make detailed plans and discuss obstacles to those plans. See "THE PLANS WE CREATE & OBSTACLES WE PLAN FOR" principle on this page for an overview of Mental Contrasting that covers this concept in more depth.
  • Active Listening:

  1. Ask open-ended questions: Open-Ended questions are questions that cannot be answered by a "yes" or "no". Good communication is not just about being heard, but hearing the other person well. Asking open-ended questions is a great way to do that no matter if you're in a 1-on-1 or in a SG weekly meeting.
  2. Paraphrase: Paraphrasing is saying back to the speaker what you think you heard. Often paraphrasing starts with something like "what I hear you saying is." The speaker can either affirm or correct the listener. Too often I've found myself thinking that I understand what someone is saying when I don't actually understand what they are trying to get to. Paraphrasing helps the speaker feel like they are being heard while helping you know how to better respond when the time comes to speak.
  3. Express and respond to latent influence. Most of us have heard that the majority of communication is body language. Sometimes in XA we call this latent influence, or non verbal cues, that you are communicating and that they are communicating to you. Daniel Coyle in "The Culture Code'' gives this breakdown of non verbal and other active listening ques:
    • Leader communicating
      • Energy:
        • Invest in the exchange that is occuring
        • Deflect negativity
      • Individualization:
        • Treat the person as unique and valued.
        • The new person in the circle is most important to intentionally include with belonging cues. Who is not in the circle that you are trying to bring into the group?
      • Future Orientation:
        • Signal the relationship will continue with future oriented speech
    • By the leader expressing/facilitating
      • Close physical proximity, often in circles of people
      • Profuse amounts of eye contact
      • Physical touch (handshakes, fist bumps, hugs)
      • Lots of short, energetic exchanges (no long speeches)
      • High levels of mixing: getting everyone to talk to everyone
      • Few interruptions: Interruptions shatter the smooth interactions at the core of belonging.
      • Lots of questions
      • Intensive, active listening
      • Humor, laughter (Love and Laughter sophin hard hearts)
      • Small, attentive courtesies (thank-yous, opening doors, etc.)
      • Serving them
    • Forming a community around their life that model
      • Everyone in the group talking and listening in roughly equal measure, keeping contributions short
      • Members maintain high levels of eye contact, and their conversations and gestures are energetic
      • Members communicate directly with one another, not just with the team leader
      • Members carry on back channel or side conversations within the group
      • Members periodically break from the group, doing things without the leader there.

Other common Feeding-behaviors (page 1), attributes (page 2) & principles (this page) for the SG leader to prioritize while emphasizing this principle:

Reading & Other Resources

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Survey: Conviction Creation principles

AREA 3: WHAT WE DO

THE HABITS WE INSTILL

The Habits We Help Our SG Members Develop Will Be One Of The Most Important Things We Will Impart To Them If They Are Going to Model Convictions After They Leave Us

Scriptures Or Scriptural Principles Related To This Principle

  • Hebrews 10: 24 And let us consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds, 25 not giving up meeting together, as some are in the habit of doing, but encouraging one another—and all the more as you see the Day approaching.
    • Psalm 1: 1Blessed is the man who does not walk in the counsel of the wicked, or set foot on the path of sinners, or sit in the seat of mockers. 2But his delight is in the Law of the LORD, and on His law he meditates day and night.
  • Romans 12: 2 Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will.

Maxims and Quotes Related To This Principle

  • Thought > action > habit > character > destiny
  • Over my dead body am I going to let you live a stupid life
  • If you are too busy to pray, then you’re busier than God wants you to be
  • Place a crown above their head and watch them grow into it
  • If you live in your competency you'll never grow your capacity

WHY Are Habits Critical For Imparting Conviction Attributes Into The Life Of A SG Member?

So we are striving to impart Kingdom focused convictions and attributes that we see as critical to expressing those convictions but what even is a conviction? One of the best ways to describe a conviction is to say it is a value that you build your life to be in line with. Often we say someone has a conviction by the actions their lives express (Conviction Attributes). James, the brother of Jesus may have said it best when he said

James 2: 14 What good is it, my brothers and sisters, if someone claims to have faith but has no deeds? Can such faith save them? 15 Suppose a brother or a sister is without clothes and daily food. 16 If one of you says to them, “Go in peace; keep warm and well fed,” but does nothing about their physical needs, what good is it? 17 In the same way, faith by itself, if it is not accompanied by action, is dead. 18 But someone will say, “You have faith; I have deeds.” Show me your faith without deeds, and I will show you my faith by my deeds...21 Was not our father Abraham considered righteous for what he did when he offered his son Isaac on the altar? 22 You see that his faith and his actions were working together, and his faith was made complete by what he did. 23 And the scripture was fulfilled that says, “Abraham believed God, and it was credited to him as righteousness,”

James is saying that the priorities of his life have changed because of faith in Jesus and these priorities express themselves in his life on a regular basis. He isn't saying that he has done good deeds before, or even that he will periodically express his faith, but that his faith has led to a new way of living aka habits that express his faith. This is the difference between simple belief, or even aspirational values, and the convictions that we base our lives upon. Now I'm not saying that I think James was particularly focused on the idea of habits per say in his letter, but the concept of habits encapsulates well his thinking of a faith that was marked by a new way of living. If your life begins to be shaped by new priorities, perspectives and habits then your taking hold of our faith in your life but if you don't express your faith through actions that express new priorities and routines than you haven't yet experienced the transformative power of belief that James is referencing.

Something that people often miss is the interplay between habits and convictions. Most followers of Christ catch how our actions express our faith, but due to the fear of falling into a works based righteousness most miss how actions are critical to creating faith. James mentions in vs 22 how Abraham's faith was made complete by his actions. Namely James is highlighting that it wasn't until Abraham acted out faith that his faith became complete. Abraham's faith became more real, mature and stronger because of his actions. It wasn't just that this command by the Lord revealed Abraham's faith, it created Abraham's faith. As much as our actions testify to faith, faith is also deeply strengthened by our faith. This is not works based righteousness but a truer understanding of the symmetry between the physical and the spiritual as God set it up. As much as our actions express our beliefs, our beliefs are never truly "complete" until they express themselves as actions. Habits are simply the natural expression of a life that is acting out their faith on a regular basis.

One of the reasons that the actions we express deeply affect faith is because of the connection behavior has with identity. How we see ourselves can be shaped by a number of things, such as the identity spoken over us (honor), and the convictions of the community that we identify with, but behavior is one of the most powerful ways that we own how we see ourselves. James Clear in his book "Atomic Habits'' says that “The real reason habits matter is not because they can get you better results (although they can do that), but because they can change your beliefs about yourself.” While I would preface that in our faith we believe that we discover our identity in contrast to the world's view that says we create our identity, I think James' idea that behaviors affect how we see ourselves is often true. Abraham could have probably said I am a servant of Yahweh before Mt. Moriah, but after the story with Issac it would have almost certainly rung more true in his heart. I can say I am a Christian but if I never pray that affects not only my sense of closeness to my God, it also affects how I identify as a child of God. Who I am affects what I do as I make choices that are in line with that identity, but what I do also affects how I see who I am. Prayer is not just something I do, it is an affirmation of who I am and the identity that I am accepting. I am a person of prayer because I am His. We own the Kingdom identity that God speaks over us and that our community can spotlight for us, when we start to act out behaviors that strengthen that ownership of our God given identity as His child. Suddenly as I accept God's truth over my life, am affirmed in that identity through my SG leader, and begin to act out behaviors that reinforce the truth of that identity I begin to see myself as God sees me. Habits are one of the best ways to create behaviors in our lives that will reinforce the identity that we are learning to live in.

WHAT Are Habits?

According to Google a habit is "a settled or regular tendency or practice, especially one that is hard to give up". Neurologically a habit is a synaptic pathway wrapped in a little white matter called myelin. Myelin strengthens synaptic pathways that receive regular use. Over time these synaptic pathways become so strong that you don't even always need conscious awareness in order to use them. Think of someone who suddenly finds themselves in front of their house after school even if they can't remember the drive home. A habit is a regular routine, but the more we make it a routine the easier it becomes to continue doing.

The Breakdown of a habit by Charles Duhigg in his formative book "The Power of Habit" gives four components that comprise a habit. They serve as a great breakdown for talking about how to create and maintain habits. His four components are:

  • Cue: The thing that triggers the habit
  • Craving: The anticipation of the reward that motivates you to do the routine
  • Routine: What we think of when we think of a habit
  • Reward: What you get out of doing the routine

WHEN Should I Emphasize Creating Habits?

Cultural norms within any group are typically created very quickly so habits related to Kingdom Relationships (K), and how your SG operates early on is key if you hope to work from there to growing habits in their individual lives related to having a Personal Relationship With God (P), and then Responsibility For His Kingdom (R) before the semester is over. That said, creating habits is always a good idea as a strategy whenever you are trying to impart any Conviction Attribute into their life.

Pro Tips & Next Steps For HOW To Develop Habits In Your SG Members Lives

James Clear in his book "Atomic Habits" expands on Duhigg's work by giving a more practical action step for each of Duhigg's four components to a habit that he calls the 4 laws of behavior change. They are (1) Que: Make it obvious, (2) Craving: Make it attractive, (3) Routine: Make it easy, and (4) Reward: Make it satisfying. If you are trying to stop a bad habit then you can think through the opposite of the 4 laws. For example, making it easy becomes make it hard, etc.

Below are the four laws of behavior change with descriptions and examples. For an exercise fill out an answer for each of these 4 components with your SG member for the Conviction Attribute that you are trying to develop in their life.

  1. Cue: Make it obvious
    • Description & Examples: A cue is what triggers the routine. Maybe it's calling your boyfriend (routine) because you finished your last class for the day (cue), or it's brushing your teeth (routine) because you just woke up (cue). Cues are things that remind us this is when and/or where we do this behavior. Making a que obvious is just saying that when you're trying to develop a habit it can be helpful to make your cue easy and visible. Maybe put a note on your bathroom mirror that reminds you to read your Bible on the bus to class, or have a friend meet you after class to go prayer walk the campus.
    • Talking points for creating a Que:
      • When/Where do you want to do your habit?
      • What is something that would remind you to do your habit?
      • What is a way you can make your reminder obvious?

  1. Craving: Make it attractive

    • Description & Examples: As a kid did you ever notice that the anticipation for Christmas morning was sometimes more fun than the morning itself, even if you got everything you were hoping for? Researchers have found that's because more of our brain is used in rewarding us for desiring something than in rewarding us for doing it. In one interesting study researchers were able to block the dopamine receptors connected with craving in rats. Even though the rats still enjoyed the rewards of pre-developed routines, they no longer had the motivation needed to get through the routine to receive their reward.

      Now while we are certainly not rats, and can be more complex creatures than this reductionist summary, we find that our craving brain can really help create habits when leveraged. Craving and reward are similar, but have to do with timing. If there isn't a reward that you can anticipate and desire when you hit your cue then it won't be enough to remember what habits you were planning to do. Because of that sometimes you need to create a reward that is immediate, as well as long term, even if it is not directly connected to the routine. If you want to have a devo life because you want to grow in your relationship with Jesus than that is a great long term reward, but will it be enough motivation to get you up an hour early tomorrow morning? Maybe rewarding yourself with a run to your favorite coffee shop if you get up for your devo time can be a short term reward that while not directly connected to the behavior can serve creating the anticipation you need to do what you want. A few tips for creating craving include:

      • Use the community as a key strategy in creating cravings. What you make visible by celebrating in your small group is a huge way that we create craving for the things of God early on in a student's life. As a SG leader, create the habit of celebrating your SG students for their behaviors they are growing in, especially in front of others when possible. The more you do it the more they will anticipate and crave the affirmation.
      • Make the reward immediate after the routine
      • Make sure the reward is predictable. It's not enough to periodically celebrate someone's developing habits. If they can't anticipate that they will be celebrated then it doesn't create craving for the behavior.
      • If you're adding a short term reward then it can be good to have accountability for your reward. If you didn't have devo this week but still went to your favorite coffee shop then the craving wont connect to the routine.
    • Talking points for creating a Craving:
      • Why do you want to do this habit?
      • If the motivation for the habit doesn't create an immediate reward then what is a short term reward you can look forward to?
      • How can I as your SG leader help keep you accountable for the routine and the reward?
      • Share your plan for making their routine visible so they can anticipate it. This doesn't need to be forced and should come across casually but something like letting them know everyone in the SG will be periodically sharing what they are doing to grow their walk with God can create motivation with the anticipated accountability and affirmation.

  1. Routine: Make it easy

    • Description & Examples: A routine is what people think of when they think of a habit. The routine is the behavior you are seeking to insert into your life on a regular basis. When we say make it easy we aren't saying don't have goals that stretch you, but rather to make the routine as easy as possible. A few ways you can look at doing that are below.

      • Do it as a team. Community is a powerful thing and when we can do something with others who are like-minded it sets us up for success.
      • Focus on the first step for your routine. James Clear in "Atomic Habits' ' mentions a friend who would go to the gym as his habit even though he didn't work out much at first. The habit of going to the gym eventually made working out easier. Don't focus at first on having an hour long devo, rather focus on opening up your Bible and see what happens from there, et.
      • Create small wins. Charles Duhigg in "The Power of Habit" talks about how Michael Phelps used a swimming routine that started with "small wins" or easy first steps to his workout routine that helped him feel confident as he went into the harder components of his routine. As you work on creating a routine that might be more challenging it can be helpful to start with small wins that build up to the harder part of the routine. For example make coffee, put on worship music, start with prayer or reading depending on what's easier for you as you make a devo routine.
      • Repetition. Habits are a sort of repetition but repetition also creates habits. The more you do it the more easy it becomes to do it in the future so set a medium level goal of doing your routine for say 30 days and then re-evaluate from there. The repetition will help strengthen your habit loop.
      • Sandwich it. It's been shown that one way that we start to enjoy something is by sandwiching it between things that we already enjoy. If you talk about sports, Jesus and then movies with someone who likes sports and movies then you create the space for them to stay motivated while you talk about Jesus until they discover the intrinsic value and enjoyment in talking about Jesus. This is similar to the habit loop itself with craving and reward but is different in that sandwiching a routine is about creating a desire for the routine where craving and reward assumes a level of intrinsic desire to create the habit. Going to dinner with your SG before a XA service and to the movies after could be an example of sandwiching the routine of going to the worship service with students who are somewhat adverse to "organized religion".
    • Talking points for creating a Routine:
      • What specifically are you trying to do?
      • Is there a first step that we can focus on?
      • Is there anyone you could do this with (SG leader feel free to be the answer)?
      • Do you want to do this routine indefinitely, for the semester or another length of time? Example a devo life may be indefinite, but having a devo life before class may be for the semester.
      • Is this something you want to do or feel like you should do? If the latter can you come up with a sandwich strategy?

  1. Reward: Make it satisfying
    • Description & Examples: A reward needs to be immediate and satisfying or else it won't trigger the craving for next time. When I go to the gym I use a workout app on my watch to track things like how many calories I've burned and how much exercise I've done that week. Seeing your progress immediately and over time is a highly satisfying reward. For more on reward review craving above.
    • Talking points for creating a Reward:
      • What's the reward for this routine and if not intuitively immediate what is a short term reward we could add?
      • How could you track your progress from your habit?

Other Conviction Creation Principles, On This Page, That Commonly Help With This Principle

  • ASSESS THE MATURITY OF YOUR MEMBERS
  • THE ACTIONS WE CELEBRATE
  • THE THINGS WE MAKE VISIBLE
  • THE PLANS WE CREATE & OBSTACLES WE PLAN FOR

Reading & Other Resources

THE PLANS WE CREATE & OBSTACLES WE PLAN FOR

When We Have A Goal For Our Discipleship It Is Very Helpful To Walk Them Through A Mental Contrasting Plan

Scriptures Or Scriptural Principles Related To This Principle

  • Luke 14: 28 “Suppose one of you wants to build a tower. Won’t you first sit down and estimate the cost to see if you have enough money to complete it? 29 For if you lay the foundation and are not able to finish it, everyone who sees it will ridicule you, 30 saying, ‘This person began to build and wasn’t able to finish.’
  • Proverbs 6: 6 Go to the ant, you sluggard; consider its ways and be wise! 7 It has no commander, no overseer or ruler, 8 yet it stores its provisions in summer and gathers its food at harvest.
  • 2 Timothy 1: 6 For this reason I remind you to fan into flame the gift of God, which is in you through the laying on of my hands.

Maxims and Quotes Related To This Principle

  • If you live in your competency you'll never grow your capacity
  • Thought > action > habit > character > destiny
  • Start with conscious incompetence until it becomes unconscious competence
  • Over my dead body am I going to let you live a stupid life
  • Care for people’s future over their feelings
  • Place a crown above their head and watch them grow into it

WHAT Do We Mean By Making Plans And WHY Are They Important For Imparting Conviction Attributes Into The Life Of A SG Member?

Mental contrasting is an incredibly simple concept that has been found time and again in research to have profound results when used. Everything from rehab patients diligence, dieters willpower to students study behaviors have found significant improvement when leveraging mental contrasting. So what is it? Mental contrasting can be summarized in three simple steps. 1. What is your desired outcome (goal)? 2. What are action steps or plans for how to reach your goal? 3. What are the potential obstacles to your plans, and how will you respond to those obstacles if they arise? These steps are so simple that we typically think that they shouldn't have a significant impact on our effectiveness in life's pursuits, but they do. If you want your SG student to grow in their spiritual formation then making a plan and planning for how to overcome obstacles is key.

Now if you have been reading the other principles in this section you might ask what is the difference between a habit and the plans we make. After all arent habits a type of plan? While these two concepts have overlaping ideas their are some key distinctions when approaching both or either of them. We talked about making plans by using the mental contrasting approach. This idea focuses on achieving goals by coming up with practical steps, where habits focus on achieving discipline in my life. To grasp the difference here emagine you want to grow your walk with God (the WHY behind your plans and habits). You start by creating a habit of having a daily devo life. Now the devo life is more about the discipline your seeking to instil into your life as a follower of Christ, but that doesn't say what that habit looks like tomorrow. When we talk about plans, and their goals we are talking more practical and shorter term. Reading through the Gospels this semster isn't a habit, but it is a goal and it can use your daily devo life to accomplish it. A good way to think of plans vs habits is to think of plans and their supporting goals as destination oriented where habits are directional in nature. If my goal is to read the Bible this year than I need a plan to read 4 chapters a day and to pull that off I need the habit of having a daily devo life.

Anyone who has ever played on a competitive sports team has intuitively understood a goal for an athlete is to get more competent in the skills of the sport. In fact athletes often see winning in their sporting event less as the goal than the vision that fuels their workout goals and plans. To grow in skill however typically means making plans with two attributes. One is repetition and the other is reach. A tennis player has to get better at the skill of serving the ball and to do that well they need to repeat serving well over and over until it becomes a habit that is often called muscle memory. It's not that your muscle has memory in its fibers, but rather that you have practiced enough that the movements have become subconscious. However if you only become competent at serving at the level you're comfortable with then you'll never improve no matter how much you repeat the exercise. That's why reach becomes important. Sometimes called stretch goals, reach is about pushing yourself past what you're comfortable with. Stretch goals need to be at a level that you can do but not comfortably or well. To use another example anyone who has had a weight lifting regimen in their sport knows to get stronger you need to choose a weight that you can lift, while maintaining form, but a weight that makes lifting it with form difficult. Daniel Coyle in his book "The Talent Code", amongst a number of other researchers have made the case that while people all have certain genetic predispositions, skill is better understood as something developed than gifted. The most talented people in any field have commonly been people who have developed their skill by living in their capabilities but always pushing themselves past their competencies. Most of us like living in what's comfortable so we don't push past our competencies. As a result we may repeat but not grow without reaching.

Charles Duhigg in his book "The Power of Habit" spotlights how making plans to overcome obstacles is key in mental contrasting. Sometimes obstacles can be practical such as how do I have a devo life when I have an assignment due. Other times obstacles can be what Angela Duckworth spotlights in her book "Grit" that researchers call having a "fixed mindset". A fixed mindset is one that says for example that I can't do better in my class because I'm not smart enough. A "growth mindset" in contrast says I could do better in my class if I study more. Often beliefs about ourselves and the identity that we have can be an obstacle to growth. Linda Seiler, former director of XA at Purdue, says when sharing her story about living a lesbian lifestyle for years before coming to the Lord, that one core aspect of her journey out of that lifestyle was claiming God's identity over her as more true than how she felt about herself. That belief that she could change because of how God made her was a growth mindset needed if she was going to overcome the obstacles facing her in her faith journey.

Often when we are talking about making plans in our discipleship we are talking about mental contrasting and creating stretch goals in their discipleship development. Repetition and reach become key if they are going to "fan into flame" the potential the Lord has given them. If we are to help our SG members develop convictions and express the attributes of KPR then we need to help them create goals and a plan for this season of their life.

WHEN Should I Emphasize This Principle?

While there is no absolute time that this principle should or shouldn't be used, it is probably true that creating goals, plans for your goals and for the obstacles they may face is most relevant during seasons of PRACTICING a conviction attribute. If they are just beginning to EXERCISE A MIND IN LOVE WITH GOD than they probably don't need a lot of stretch goals, but rather need to be celebrated for the PLAY like interaction with any reading and discussing the Lord in the community that they engage in, though you may need to create a plan yourself for leading them into PLAY WITH that Conviction Attribute. When they have a passion developing but need to grow more deliberately than creating a plan with them is helpful.

Pro Tips & Next Steps For HOW To Develop Plans In Your SG Members Discipleship

  • Mental Contrasting:
    1. Sit down with your SG member in a 1-on-1 context and discuss what Conviction Attribute to grow them in
    2. Discuss what would be a good goal for this semester related to the Conviction Attribute their focusing on. Think through how to express repetition and reach in their goal setting.
    3. Discuss in as much detail as you can what plans they could make, and what habits they have or need to create that would serve those plans. Ask or assert how you can help in those plans. Discussing their progress, doing their plan with them in part, celebrating & making their progress visible are a few things to help
    4. Discuss what would be common challenges that could come up and what's their plan for dealing with challenges
    5. Try using the principles in "THE COACHING & ACTIVE LISTENING WE EXPRESS" also on this page when mental contrasting

Other Conviction Creation Principles, On This Page, That Commonly Help With This Principle

  • » PRACTICE »
  • THE HABITS WE INSTILL
  • THE THINGS WE MAKE VISIBLE
  • THE CHALLENGE AND SUPPORT WE GIVE

Reading & Other Resources

THE CHALLENGE AND SUPPORT WE GIVE

DO WE CALL THEM TO GROWTH, AND ARE WE SUPPORTIVE IN THE PROCESS WITHIN THE SECURITY OF OUR FRIENDSHIP?

Scriptures Or Scriptural Principles Related To This Behavior

  • Matthew 9:12-13 On hearing this, Jesus said, "It is not the healthy who need a doctor, but the sick. 13 But go and learn what this means: 'I desire mercy, not sacrifice.' For I have not come to call the righteous, but sinners."

  • John 17: 20-23 “My prayer is not for them alone. I pray also for those who will believe in me through their message, 21 that all of them may be one, Father, just as you are in me and I am in you. May they also be in us so that the world may believe that you have sent me. 22 I have given them the glory that you gave me, that they may be one as we are one— 23 I in them and you in me—so that they may be brought to complete unity. Then the world will know that you sent me and have loved them even as you have loved me."

  • GALATIANS 6:2 "Bear one another's burdens, and so fulfill the law of Christ."

Maxims and Quotes

  • Care for people’s future over their feelings or your friendship
  • What you celebrate they will emulate
  • The goal of discipleship isn't to make faith easier but to make them stronger
    1. You do > They watch, 2. You do > They help, 3. They do > You help, 4. They do > You watch
  • Confront, but do it with tears

WHY It’s Important To Express Challenge & Support Within the Safety Of Your Friendship?

The Psychologist Larry Steinberg suggested in his presidential address to the Society for Research on Adolescence in the early 2000's that researchers didn't need to do more studies on parenting styles. The jury had deliberated and the verdict was in. Across countless studies in a myriad of countries and cultures the research on effective parenting found two collaborative concepts. When both were present than a parent's children were found to grow up experiencing more emotional health, making better choices in life and achieving greater accomplishments in their endeavors in life. So what is the majical combo for parenting? Angela Duckworth in her book "Grit" summarizes them as parents being supportive towards their children's endeavors combined with being demanding towards their children's continued development. Parents who were not supportive and/or who did not call their children to high standards would typically not see their children develop in as healthy of ways as parents who modeled both attributes on a regular basis.

So why talk about parenting principles here? Because to be an effective disciple maker is to raise up spiritual children in the faith. If we want those who we disciple to grow in their faith in meaningful ways then we also need to be people who express a supportive and demanding attitude within the security of our relationship with them.

What Is Challenge And Support?

Challenge is anytime we call out potential in someone that they are not living up to. In one study researchers affixed a post it note to a group of students' homework essay assignments that read "I’m giving you these comments (teachers critiques to the essays) because I have very high expectations and I know that you can reach them." That note caused twice as many students to give revised essays. While we often associate confrontation with challenge, and sometimes it can mean that, challenge doesn't necessarily mean confrontation. Confrontation is when you call out the wrong in someone. Challenge is about the natural calling out of someone's life to greater potential. That might mean calling someone out of sin, but it also might mean calling their faith to greater maturity.
However we should only expect a challenge to work if we then take the next step and help. It's not enough to tell someone to do better but then walk away, we have to help them reach that potential we see in them. A kid who is learning to read needs to keep trying but if no one helps them practically figure it out how to read then they will be left frustrated with the attempt.
Countless studies have shown that in child development it is essential for children to experience regular challenge but we also see how it is only within the security of relationship that it can lead to the positive outcome we are striving for through the challenge. On the flip side if a child has a strong sense of belonging but never is challenged they will never feel the desire to reach their potential. We need in our discipleship to challenge people, to call out what we see within them, but to do it within the Kingdom Relationship that we have forged, and then to continue to help them along the way (see fight for and feed the friendship behaviors).

WHEN Should You Emphasize This Principle?

  • If you have a Christian living in sin then you need to challenge them and support them if they respond (I Corinthians 5, Matthew 18: 15-16).
  • Anytime your SG member doesn't seem to be growing in their walk with God and/or in Kingdom Relationships is a good time to emphasize Challenge and Support. It's helpful to assess if they need a deeper sense of belonging with the community, a challenge that they are not living up to their potential in this season, or if God is doing something in their life but they need more help to take hold of it.
  • If you have a non Christian who is part of your community, has been presented the gospel through your lives and words, and seems like they are ready then challenge them to accept Jesus. Sometimes you sense this when you realize that you can't think of any reason they have for not being a Christian. Maybe they only need to be challenged to step out.
  • If you have a non Christian who has had time to experience the community, has been presented the Gospel, but seems comfortable being part of the community without ever responding to the Lord. The Lord should be someone they are wrestling with as part of your community. If they belong but don't seem to be wrestling with the Lord then it may be time to challenge them to continue wrestling or surrender to the Lord.
  • Always be open to the Lord guiding you to creating a decision moment no matter what other factors may or may not be there.

Pro Tips & Next Steps For HOW To Express This Principle In Your Discipleship

Pro tips Challenge

  • Calling them higher:
    1. Tell them the potential you see in them
    2. Call out what's getting in the way, or what you think would help them reach that potential.
    3. If there is a sin issue then confront it directly but communicate who you see them becoming in the Lord as part of your confrontation.
  • Correcting in the moment: Emagine you're helping a SG member grow in responsibility so you go on campus and help them strike up conversations about the Lord. They don't need you to call them to responsibility because they are doing it, but they do need constructive feedback at the moment. When you are able to do something together it can be helpful to give tips, advice and examples as you help in the moment. This is like being a sports coach who is giving correction and clarity on technique. This oftentimes closely overlaps with support but where support is more the aspect of helping by going on campus with your SG member, modeling outreach for them and encouraging their efforts, this is highlighting the value in also giving feedback in that moment.

Pro Tips: Support

  • Spend the next season of your relationship supporting them in their growth
    • I do, you watch
    • I do, you help
    • You do, I help
    • You do, I watch
  • Cebrate their successes even if their small wins

Other Conviction Creation Principles, On This Page, That Commonly Help With This Principle

  • ASSESS THE MATURITY OF YOUR MEMBERS
  • THE COACHING & ACTIVE LISTENING WE EXPRESS
  • THE HABITS WE INSTILL
  • THE PLANS WE CREATE & OBSTACLES WE PLAN FOR
  • THE DECISION MOMENTS WE CREATE

Reading & Other Resources

THE DECISION MOMENTS WE CREATE

SG Members Are Often Ready And Willing To Grow In Their Commitment To The Lord Before A Moment Creates The Opportunity To Respond

Scriptures Or Scriptural Principles Related To This Behavior

  • Jonah sent to Nineveh in Jonah 3
  • Ezekiel 3:18 When I say to the wicked, ‘You wicked person, you will surely die,’ and you do not speak out to dissuade them from their ways, that wicked person will die for[a] their sin, and I will hold you accountable for their blood. 9 But if you do warn the wicked person to turn from their ways and they do not do so, they will die for their sin, though you yourself will be saved.
  • Jesus’ calling of the disciples

Maxims and Quotes

  • What God does in you He wants to do through you
  • We are an army not an audience
  • Over my dead body am I going to let you live a stupid life
  • Care for people’s future over their feelings
  • May the lamb who was slain receive the reward of his suffering
  • Knowledge = responsibility, responsibility accepted = more light, responsibility rejected = guilt
  • Intrinsic value obligates
  • Place a crown above their head and watch them grow into it

What Do We Mean By Creating Decision Moments, And Why Is That Important For Imparting Conviction Attributes Into The Life Of A SG Member?

A few years ago I had an alumni from our ministry doing missions with our ministry in Russia. He shared with me how for much of his time there that first semester he had been ministering to a couple of guys that he had connected with at his university but that not much had been happening. He had a great friendship with these guys and regularly shared his faith as part of their times together but he didn't know how to get them to surrender their lives to the Lord. It was during this time of uncertainty for how to proceed that he went to a conference hosted by another missions group. One of the things that they really emphasized was how much people needed to be given opportunities to respond to the Gospel, and not to just hear it. Feeling like that was something he hadn't really done well with his guys he came back from that conference and sat down with each of them individually where he told them that they were ready to accept the Lord, but would they. Anticipating maybe a more awkward conversation where his guys tried to give him excuses for why they weren't ready, he was surprised when a number of his guys responded by agreeing that they were ready and willing to take that step with the Lord.

Decision moments sometimes are moments of confronting sin and calling them to turn back to the Lord, sometimes they are calling them to greater potential in their faith but it is always about giving them an opportunity to respond. THE DECISION MOMENTS WE CREATE is interconnected with THE CHALLENGE AND SUPPORT WE GIVE principle. The difference is where the emphasis in challenging and supporting them is what you are doing, creating decision moments is about giving them space to respond. My former student may have been saying salvation is something that his guys could receive and even that they should receive salvation, but until he gave them space to respond to an invitation for salvation they never took that step to respond to his challenge.

You might ask "Does a decision moment need to be a big deal?" While these conversations can be significant moments that are taken with prayer and fasting they don’t have to always be a major moment in your discipleship. Sometimes just inviting someone in your one-on-one relationship to grow in a certain area can be a casual and common conversation piece in your discipleship. Sometimes a mature Christian just needs encouragement with an invitation to grow in a certain way for example.

It may feel like a risk to create a decision moment for people, and it can be one, but there is often greater risk when we are not willing to call them higher by giving them time and space to respond to a challenge. If we want to see their lives transformed by the power of God then we need to fight for their futures no matter the cost to do so.

WHEN Should You Emphasize This Principle?

  • Always be open to the Lord guiding you to creating a decision moment no matter what other factors may or may not be there.
  • If you have a Christian living in sin then you need to not only challenge them to live holy, you need to create an opportunity for reconciliation (I Corinthians 5, Matthew 18: 15-16).
  • If you have a plan for how you think the SG member could grow in a Core Conviction, or a habit your wanting to help develop in their life then share with them your vision for their discipleship and ask if their in.
  • If you have a non Christian who is part of your community, has been presented the gospel through your lives and words, and seems like they are ready. Sometimes you sense this when you realize that you can't think of any reason they have for not being a Christian. Maybe they only need to be personally invited.
  • If you have a non Christian who has had time to experience the community, has been presented the Gospel, but seems comfortable being part of the community without ever responding to the Lord. The Lord should be someone they are wrestling with as part of your community. If they belong but don't seem to be wrestling with the Lord then it may be time to push progress in their faith journey by creating a decision moment.

Pro Tips & Next Steps For HOW To Express This Principle In Your Discipleship

  • What should a personal decision moment look like? This answer could be very broad depending on any number of factors and one that seeking guidance and council from leaders may be important. That said here is a basic outline for many situations
    1. Meet 1-on-1
    2. Honor the potential you see in them and vision cast their future if they grow in the area you see needing attention
    3. If a sin, or stronghold issue than share how you see that getting in the way
    4. Communicate how you would like to walk with them in growing (this may be anything from wanting to walk with them in their accepting Jesus, to reading a book of the Bible to grow their understanding of God, etc.)
    5. Share that you think they're ready if they are willing. Then ask if they are willing
      1. If they are not willing then graciously affirm them and tell them you're there to walk with them till they're ready if appropriate.
      2. If they respond than reaffirm them, the vision and make a practical plan or lead them in prayer, etc depending on what's appropriate in the context
  • What should a group decision moment look like? This answer could be very broad depending on any number of factors and one that seeking guidance and council from leaders may be important. That said here are a few principles that relate to many situations
    1. Depending on the context it can be helpful to talk in advance with one or more people in your SG about what you are going to do. If they can jump on board in advance then they can be ready to help lead in response to your challenge.
    2. Embrace your awkward. A group response always has the potential that no one will respond. In that case don't be awkward about them not responding, but rather just be gracious in that moment and move on. That said, don't move on too quickly. Leaders can often want to move on because of what they sense is an awkward pause when really the Lord is just working on people's hearts to respond and they need a moment.
    3. Be clear about what you're asking. If you give people an out to not respond to a charge they will often take it. That said a charge that is too vague is an out to not respond.

Other Conviction Creation Principles, On This Page, That Commonly Help With This Principle

  • ASSESS THE MATURITY OF YOUR MEMBERS
  • THE CHALLENGE AND SUPPORT WE GIVE

THE THINGS WE MAKE VISIBLE

The Things That We Make Visible Communicates Value, And As A Result Help In Creating The Culture Of Your Community

Scriptures Or Scriptural Principles Related To This Principle

  • Luke 8: 16No one lights a lamp and covers it with a jar or puts it under a bed. Instead, he sets it on a stand, so those who enter can see the light. 17For there is nothing hidden that will not be disclosed, and nothing concealed that will not be made known and brought to light.

  • Psalm 119: 105 Your word is a lamp for my feet, a light on my path.

  • Proverbs 27: 17 As iron sharpens iron, so one person sharpens another.

Maxims and Quotes Related To This Principle

  • You talk about what you love most
  • You emulate what you elevate, you elevate what you entertain
  • The chief end of man is to glorify God and enjoy him forever
  • Start with conscious incompetence until it becomes unconscious competence
  • What God does in you He wants to do through you
  • Hunger is caught not taught

What Do We Mean By Making Convictions Visible And Why Is That Important For Imparting Conviction Attributes Into The Life Of A SG Member?

I remember a couple of years after we pioneered the XA at CSU we started to have a problem. Namely we had a lot of students in our ministry who wanted to be on leadership even though they didn’t necessarily have the convictions to do it well. In contrast to many other campus ministries that I knew where getting students to commit to leadership was a constant challenge, we were getting them to join before they were ready. Now my point in sharing this story isn’t to highlight an issue but the positive side of our situation even if we had to wrestle with how to manage it. The question that obviously comes up is why.

Charles Duhigg in his book “The Power of Habit” mentions an example from the 60’s in America where university students from northern states were being invited to travel over their spring breaks to help African Americans register to vote in southern states. This was in the middle of a lot of desegregation controversy in those southern states and as spring break drew near many of the students who signed up backed out due to fear. Research on the situation years later found an interesting observation, students who were part of a campus ministry were far more likely to go. The research found Christian students who were not part of a campus ministry were also not likely to go, but only those who were part of a christian community. Now I would say that the moral framework of our faith would certainly have helped, and christians who are not in community rarely are as influenced by their faith as those who are in community, but the research spotlighted another cause that is worth noting. The power of peer pressure. Now we typically see peer pressure as a negative thing due to the ability it has to cause us to do things we don’t want to do, but it has another side. Peer pressure can give us the motivation to do what we want to do, but which we don’t have the willpower to do on our own. Peer pressure is a natural component to any community you identify with because it’s about conforming to the group's culture. Culture by Angela Duckworth in her book “Grit” spotlights how culture is about us saying “This is who we are '' and so this is how we do things. If I identify as part of a Christian community and they are going to go help people register to vote in the south than to not go is to break with who I am. Even the idea of competition, that sometimes comes into the conversation about peer pressure, in the original latin concept was about striving together, not besting another. Duhigg talks about the idea that community pressure comes from a sense of social standing. If I am part of this group and yet don’t participate in what the group values, then who I am in the group is less at the core of the community and more on the outside. This can be a powerful motivator when it aligns with who I want to be.

When we were pioneering the ministry at CSU we did so with a team. In fact at that time I believe we may have been the largest pioneering team a XA had ever started with. What was more strange about our pioneering team was that we all came from the same ministry at Sam Houston State University. Because of that we had a fully formed community with cultural norms, values, and priorities the day we walked on the campus. As students joined our ministry they were adapting to the culture of our community almost from day one, instead of walking out the formation of a community culture that would be more the norm in other ministries that I knew. As making disciple makers was at the center of our vision and values it was no wonder that the culture gelled with the students desiring to do leadership. That is what the team valued, and what our community was about. The question that then comes up is how do you go about communicating that culture? How does someone joining your community catch the norms of the group? Creating visibility for the things you are seeking to impart into the lives of your SG members, and the group as a whole, is a powerful principle when it comes to creating a community's culture.

Visibility doesn’t have to be something you're celebrating though that's one form of visibility. In Duhigg's example it was the assumed expectation that you were going on the spring break trip and the visibility that backing out would create that spurred students to stay committed. When we have students we are inviting to leadership now I ask SG leaders to bring it up with people not in their SG. If someone considering leadership keeps getting asked if they are doing it, celebrated if they plan to, or is able to ask questions if they are not sure than the very fact they were asked creates a cue that this is a big deal and the group values SG leadership. If they never have to tell someone no then it's easier to not do it, or not value leadership as much as they should even if they do join. Of course in that example we prep SG leaders to be ready to create belonging cues even if the students say they don’t plan to at this time as we don’t want them to feel that they don’t belong because they didn’t commit to leadership. Visibility is just that, the values that are being given attention. Sometimes by being celebrated, by being given attention, by the behaviors of the group or by the assumptions of how we operate, visibility is anything that brings to light what we as a group value or how we act out that value.

WHEN Should You Emphasize This Principle?

Culture is caught or created within a group very quickly. That is why creating visibility for how you want the group to function early on is critical. They may not care about talking about the Lord when you first meet them but you want Jesus to come up early and regularly in order to create the cultural norm that you can work from in developing their relationship with the Lord. Prioritizing what to make visible can follow the ministries progression of spotlighting K, P and then R throughout the semester. Kingdom Relationships (Brotherhood/Sisterhood) is a key concept to emphasize early on as the habits of how the community operates is one of the first things to be established. As the semester progresses making “P” and then “R” more visible in their life and the community becomes important.

Pro Tips & Next Steps For HOW To Use Visibility In Your SG Members Discipleship

  • 5 Questions to ask when creating visibility:
    1. What convictions need to be made visible right now?
      • See “WHEN Should You Emphasize This Principle” above for more of a breakdown here.
    2. What are things that my SG members are doing that needs to be celebrated?
      • Have they made commitments? Make those visible to the community. Examples would include a student deciding to go on a missions trip or joining LTC.
      • See “THE ACTIONS WE CELEBRATE” for more of a breakdown here.
    3. What are things the ministry is doing that needs to be spotlighted?
      • Visibility is most powerful when done in a group so if you can piggyback on what the ministry is already emphasizing within K, P, and R right now then your discipleship will be more impactful. Creating visibility for responsibility when the ministry is spotlighting missions will mean your discipleship and the ministry's message will serve each other not compete for attention.
    4. Who can help me create visibility & how could they help?
      • I used the example above of having leaders ask people who have been invited into our leadership training class whether they were going to do it or not. Your roommates, cohort & other friends can help you establish the culture of your SG group by their example and focus. The goal here is not to synthetically create culture, but to intentionally reveal the culture of the group they are a part of (Luke 8:16).
    5. Where are places I can create visibility?
      • Your weekly meeting is a good place for this, but so are weekend hangouts, before and after corporate ministry events or anytime your peers are with you and your SG members.

Other Conviction Creation Principles, On This Page, That Commonly Help With This Principle

  • THE ACTIONS WE CELEBRATE
  • THE HEROES WE MAKE
  • THE STORIES WE TELL
  • THE BELIEFS MOST EXPRESSED IN YOUR COMMUNITY
  • THE CONVICTIONS WE MODEL
  • WHAT YOUR ENVIRONMENT COMMUNICATES

Reading & Other Resources

THE CONVICTIONS WE MODEL

What We Do To Express Our Convictions Before Our Small Group, And Not Just What We Say, Has A Huge Impact On The Convictions That SG Members Will Adopt, And The Way They Will Express Them

Scriptures Or Scriptural Principles Related To This Principle

Acts 2:42 They devoted themselves to the apostles’ teaching and to fellowship, to the breaking of bread and to prayer. 43 Everyone was filled with awe at the many wonders and signs performed by the apostles. 44 All the believers were together and had everything in common. 45 They sold property and possessions to give to anyone who had need. 46 Every day they continued to meet together in the temple courts. They broke bread in their homes and ate together with glad and sincere hearts, 47 praising God and enjoying the favor of all the people. And the Lord added to their number daily those who were being saved.

Maxims and Quotes Related To This Principle

  • People usually forget what you say, but they will always remember how you treat them
  • You emulate what you elevate, you elevate what you entertain
  • People who love you will eventually love what you love
  • You can’t give away what you don’t have
  • Hunger is caught not taught
  • Rules without relationship lead to rebellion
    1. You do > They watch, 2. You do > They help, 3. They do > You help, 4. They do > You watch
  • Small Group is a community around your life who you are taking responsibility for as they learn to lean on each other in the pursuit of Jesus

WHAT Does It Mean To Model Convictions & WHY Is It Critical In Discipleship?

When I think of leaders that I have had in my life, and the type of leader that I desire to be, I don't think about what my leaders have said to me as much as how they lived. While I may look back on what they said to help me understand how to better emulate them it is how they acted that sticks in my mind. After all, isn't that what makes a leader good or not; how they acted and how we are inspired, or empowered to act as a result?

One of the hardest things about the Kingdom Convictions that we spotlight in our ministry is not how to get people to understand them or even how to get them to understand why they are important. Any believer typically understands that reading the Bible is important and at some level they probably understand why. What is challenging is imparting how to read the Bible. Now I'm not saying students don't know how to read the Bible if they were to only spend the time to open it, though that can be a legitimate issue, but rather what I'm saying is that they often don't know what it looks like to read the Bible as a student between other seemingly good things. If I have homework and haven't read my Bible today how do I prioritize both? Is this something more important than sleep and can I read it as an audiobook on my way to class? How much should I read and do other Christian books or podcasts work in place of reading the Bible for a season? Contextualizing what it looks like to be someone who "reads the Bible" as a college student is hard. Because of that we generally take cues from others in our community, especially our leaders, who we see as having a handle of contextualizing what this looks like. All of that assumes that I want to be someone who reads the Bible, but even if I don't there is incredible inspirational power from those who we look up to. As I am sometimes fond of saying "People will eventually love what you love if they love you." If we want our SG members to express the Convictions of the Kingdom then we need to express them and make our convictions visible for our SG members to see.

Pro Tips & Next Steps For HOW To Express This Principle In Your Discipleship

  • Take a Conviction Attribute that you are wanting to emphasize and ask how you can model it in front of them
    • Create a goal for your SG or 1-on-1 and make sure you are leading in acting it out. Example reading John over a break so post to your SG regular thoughts you have from your reading
    • Think through how you can invite them into your Conviction Attribute in a 1-on-1 setting. Example have them meet at your house when you would typically be doing your devo, whether for one time or a season. Have them do their devo and you do yours. They don't even need to be done together so much as giving them an opportunity to watch you have a devo life.

Other Conviction Creation Principles, On This Page, That Commonly Help With This Principle

  • THE STORIES WE TELL
  • THE THINGS WE MAKE VISIBLE
  • THE VALUES THAT OUR EXPERIENCES FORGE

Reading & Other Resources

THE VALUES THAT OUR EXPERIENCES FORGE

What You Do With Your SG Members Communicates And Often Imparts Values Into Their Lives

Scriptures Or Scriptural Principles Related To This Behavior

Study the Exodus account and God’s institution of holidays for remembrance

Study the context of where Jesus was during Matthew 16:15-20 and how he made the phrase "and the gates of Hades will not overcome it" memorable.

Maxims and Quotes

  • Rules without relationship lead to rebellion
  • People usually forget what you say, but they will always remember how you treat them
  • Love & laughter plow hard hearts

WHAT Do We Mean By Forging Values By Our Experiences, And WHY Is That Important For Imparting Conviction Attributes Into The Life Of A SG Member?

When someone goes through the preparation for pioneering a Chi Alpha they do a training called the pioneering bootcamp. One of the exercises that they have you do during the training is to take a posterboard, draw a line in the middle of it with your birth at the start and the current date at the end. They then have you use post-it notes to write down significant life events on the timeline. Above the timeline you put positive events, and below you put negative events. They then have you do an exercise where you identify core values in your life, and then see if you can identify what events created those values within you. What is surprising to many individuals is realizing that what they value in life often is a direct result of significant life events.

In our ministry we have a heart for the nations, and so emphasize missions trips and give a year's opportunities overseas. Now new students rarely come into our ministry with a strong vision or value for foreign missions, but if they go on a two week trip in the summer, they come back the next year passionate for missions. The reason is obvious, but is a natural reaction to seeing the need, vision and experiencing their life on mission. I remember hearing another XA director share about how he didn’t see himself as a “reader” when he came to college. After joining XA he was invited to a trip a number of guys were taking overnight to go to a Christian used book sale on the other side of the state. He couldn’t believe anyone, let alone college guys, would want to spend their weekend driving to a book sale, but he went for the community and after returning began to spend his free time reading Christian classics.

The point is that what we know may come from what we are told, but what we value comes from what we have experienced. The more profound the experience, the more likely it is that what we have experienced will become a value in our lives, but that doesn’t mean that everything has to be intense. Values also come from things like the regular rhythmic habits and experiences in your life and community. See “THE THINGS WE MAKE VISIBLE” in this section for more on the influence of community in creating cultural values.

The values that your experience forge may be overt like getting a heart for missions by going on a missions trip, but they can also be more subtle such as how rowdy your group acts when you're together. Thinking through what kinds of culture you want to create for your group, what kind of values you want to communicate, and how these things serve imparting Kingdom Convictions is a valuable exercise as you think through what kinds of experiences you want your SG to have in this season.

WHEN Should You Emphasize This Principle?

This is a principle that is relevant at any time, but emphasizing experiences that reinforce K, P, or R can be helpful depending on the time of the semester.

  • Emphasizing experiences that communicate Kingdom Relationships early in the semester is a good idea.
  • As you start to get past the formation and reconnection of your SG community then emphasizing experiences that communicate “P” is a good idea.
  • For those who have a solid relationship with God it can be a good idea to start emphasizing "R" by the last month of the semester.

Pro Tips & Next Steps For HOW To Express This Principle In Your Discipleship

  • Pro Tips for creating experiences in Kingdom Relationships. The habits of a community naturally form very quickly so create experiences in Kingdom Relationships right from the beginning
    • Emphasize being with your cohort in seasons when you are Fighting For contacts to be part of your SG so that you can model brotherhood/sisterhood to your developing SG.
    • Talk about brotherhood/sisterhood early on in your weekly meetings by using lessons from the Kingdom Relationships section of the Core Convictions page, and other principles on this page such as THE STORIES WE TELL
    • Do activities that are high on making relational memories such as camping, trips to Boulder for the night, sunrise hikes to the A or other novel activities.
  • Pro Tips for creating experiences in a Personal Relationship With God. Your discipleship in having a Personal Relationship With God is most influential after the SG relationships are established so, while you always want the Lord to be part of the cultural norms you create early on in your SG, creating intentional experiences in “P” are best thought through after the first month of each semester.
    • Utilize the ministries activities during this time to help
      • Retreats are typically scheduled for around the start of this shift to help SG members begin to take deeper steps in their Personal Relationship With God.
      • While XA’s Worship services are always encouraged, prioritizing emphasizing OP live can be especially important for those who you feel like need God encounters during this season.
      • Special events such as dig In’s, prayer nights, prayer and fasting weeks, etc. can help create convictions by utilizing the example and impartation of the larger ministry.
    • Create a goal with your SG for this season of the semester. Examples could include:
      • Decide to meet at Danforth Chapel each tuesday before class to pray together
      • Choose to read through a book together for a month
      • Take on the Live Dead missions challenge to tithe your time for a week or more to the Lord.
  • Pro Tips for creating experiences in Responsibility. Creating experiences in Responsibility is typically best emphasized at the tail end of the semester after the convictions for their faith have grown to a level that they feel the pull to express them to the world around them. In the Spring semester you may start slightly earlier with those doing Leadership Training Class, or a spring break missions trip, as the experiences in outreach mid way through the semester will begin to naturally do this. Some examples of this could include:
    • Do on campus outreaches with the XA staff for your 1-on-1 time
    • Encourage them to do a mission trip with you
    • Invite them to lead a weekly meeting

Other common Feeding-behaviors (page 1), attributes (page 2) & principles (this page) for the SG leader to prioritize while emphasizing this principle:

WHAT YOUR SPACE AND STRUCTURES SAY

What Your Structures And Their Environment Communicates Has More Of An Impact On Your Community Than You Might Realize

Scriptures Or Scriptural Principles Related To This Behavior

  • Study the Jewish tabernacle or temple and the symbolism behind their space.
  • Study the Jewish holidays and what they said about who they were and who God is.

Maxims and Quotes

  • You emulate what you elevate, you elevate what you entertain
  • Live your life as mission, don’t add mission in your life
  • Structure serves to create culture - Scott Martin
  • Systems create behaviors that create habits that create culture

WHY Is This Principle Important For Imparting Conviction Attributes Into The Life Of A SG Member?

Finding a space to do our first few worship services of the semester was always challenging. There weren't many rooms on the university that could handle us, and those few rooms were often expensive or hard to reserve. One day one of my staff said "why don't we start the school year doing worship services on the university lawn?" It turned out to be a great idea and a tradition that we would do for years to come. We built a stage that we could transport each week, found a space on the university that we could reserve, and invited people to sit on blankets in the beautiful fall weather for the first few weeks of the fall semester.

At first we did what we called "Outdoor Outpost" because it was logistically practical. However a couple years later we no longer had the same logistical issues and so I asked if we should cut it. There was a resounding "No" by the staff at that time because Outdoor Outpost was doing more than serving our logistical needs, it was communicating cultural values of our community as well as serving the convictions of reaching our campus. If you came to an Outdoor Outpost service you intuitively understood that this community was not ashamed of their faith, and that you were going to overcome your fear of other people knowing you were part of our group. The worship was regularly heard from every corner of campus, and their was a steady stream of students walking by where we did the service as they walked to and from the rec center and other university buildings. We would regularly have people stop in to the service because it was so present in their world. I recently had a doctor do a checkup with me at the local hospital. As he asked me what I did I explained that I was a campus minister with a group called XA at CSU. He said "I went to CSU. Weren't you guys the ones who were always doing your services out on the lawn? I was part of another ministry but I would stop by and listen sometimes."

Environmental cues have been linked to everything from the rise and decline of crime in NY to why you do or don't get into orderly lines depending on the country you're in. People pick up on the intuitive ques of your environment and respond according to the presumed values and habits of the group they are in. Your organizational structures and what their environments communicate help people know what your SG is about.

WHAT Do We Mean By "WHAT YOUR SPACE AND STRUCTURES SAY?

When we talk about structures we are primarily referring to organizational habits such as worship services, your weekly meeting or leadership rhythms. Essentially the behaviors and rhythms of the group. When we are talking about what the space says we are talking about the way the structures are set up and what they communicate. If you do a weekly meeting for your SG in the middle of the university center you are communicating values like openness, university identity within your group, etc. but if you do the same meeting in your living room you may be communicating things like a value for doing life on life with your SG, safety to be vulnerable, etc.

WHEN Should You Emphasize This Principle?

Whenever you are creating organizational habits for your SG community, or are starting to emphasize a new Kingdom Conviction, it can be good to take a moment and think through what your structures and spaces are saying and are they saying what you want them to?

Pro Tips & Next Steps For HOW To Express This Principle In Your Discipleship

  • Weekly Meeting:
    • Ask what cues does your location give about your group's accessibility, identity, safety & belonging.
    • Ask what cues your time gives about your group's type of relationships, commitment expectation, accessibility, etc.
  • Weekend hangouts: Ask what cues do your activities say about your group's type of relationships, commitment expectation, openness to outsiders, group values, etc.
  • Ministry wide events: Ask what do your habits pre/post worship services, and other ministry wide events, say about their place in the larger community, your value of the event, etc.

Other Conviction Creation Principles, On This Page, That Commonly Help With This Principle

  • THE HABITS WE INSTILL
  • THE THINGS WE MAKE VISIBLE

Reading & Other Resources

Survey: Conviction Creation Principles